Category Archives: poetry

Incidental Tides of Understanding

Able to anticipate the moments that leave you breathless

The investments of living beauty

Immunity given to negative experience

Each day glorious

Incandescent, driven from a source untamed

unnamed,

Remain within the light

no fight

left to embrace the ugly in misunderstanding

These continuous tides

Magnanimous tides

Refutable tides of Understanding

A need,

to bleed the pain of life

Perish beneath the waves

no strife in the eyes of love

A sea of indefinite reels of currents

each washing away the past

no singular moment last

long enough to defy a souls course of connection

the tides inside, that move our belief

Design our current

define or shoreline of ability to have our hearts beat faster

swept up in moments that leave us eternally

able to view the majestic continuity of the sea

serene, and vast, no empty spaces

for regret remains

no smolder of ash from burning flames

to cure the intensity of change

Incidentally those tides, just rise

each wave, each breath

i invite the death of believing

that change is just this, the ability to anticpate the moments that leave you breathless

to rare the tides of understanding

to high the tide of care

Take me into the current,

ride each ripple of emotion

Deny fear’s deterrent

 submit  when they arrive

the incidental tides of understanding

FEEL,

living beauty is real

 embracing the senses

drown defenses

Breathless

 

 

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Filed under Choices, influences, love, poetry, religion, The World

Bed Made

I am not about being the oppressor, being the one to call your bluff

but what the fuck…

Do you know how many good women are sitting at home praying for a good man to walk through the door and be home

lay his hat on the coat rack, his briefcase at the door

How many women who put up with bullshit

just wishing he was the right kind

in his right mind

will stay the night this time

and you have one who has offered you everything to just make him your play thing

Okay men have played the game with hearts for centuries

it might even be coded into the chromosones before they are multiplied cells

for it seems that on average it is a commonality that men

treat hearts with brutality

Especially after they have  played honestly once to just be played

Yet if I calculate the stories of true pain

I mean the kind that change the core of belief in love

then men seemed to be the most effected. Us ladies

must be tenacious

able to fogive and move to the next without the penalty of war crimes

holding us hostage

The male ability to logically repeat with the next

the same beginnings of the ex are simply

not as easy for them to comprehend

so why with the knowledge would use your womb

to gain access to not just love but security

taking our greatest possibility

to being living proof o miraclous beyond the high

beauty

why would you use his seed to feed your body

decorate your homes or to right his wrongs

for as you laid in the made bed

you lead his heart with his vulnerabilty

his need to connect emotionally already

without your legs opening you were in the zone of wrong

see his heart don’t beat so fiercely or as long

built with the belief that men provide and not complain

that while hurt is universal without name or claim

told to blink back leaks fom expressive eyes to square shoulders

the wars of emotional tyranny are told to be released. when hurt in this life, against  the world… son you fight…

is that what your going to teach the son you just gambled

when you  played, plotted and trapped his daddy with his physical pull to lay with you

penetrate you, copulate knowing after he pulled out he probably would walk out

All you had were thos sensually driven moments, those honest words he spoken a million days ago before you showed the holes in the script you you wrote with the intent to make him yours

when he implicitly said, no desire to wed, no desire for forever, just need this.

this hit that i will manipulate with lip to lips sweet touches some define as kiss

Now his child that he loves with whole cognitive not intent freely and completely

no desire to be so running like forrest unless toward this creation of two even if the half was you

the woman who he hurt then repented loved again but then

you played him, with the perparation of making his station in this life to also include father to soon

a baby wasn’t something he hadn’t projected to be added to his life, just not befoe he asked his heart desire to be his wife and he was hurt mostly because you knew about the blueprint he had designed for his accession to manhood

no what’s up hood, no banging gangs, no baby making for mama’s to define him

you said that baby was not in your current plans reciprocated his desire to just be a young man and you the woman to compliment him

You knew and you said you would never do that type of thing to a man

never use his youthful lust and his naive love to be the glove

that fit his fear just to keep him near

no babies frivolously made friday nights in his bed

you know what you said

I don’t mean to judge but I know him without the romance of sexing, texting cute hellos

I know him beyond what he protrays

what he sells for interest, understand the truth he didn’t onfide in you because he was afraid you yell dismiss instead showing him glossed lips to kiss

I know he said he loved you to, he did, and still hold love for you but what you did was wrong

now you are the predator no greater than he before you told him he would be a daddy

the only true risk in this game you play is that seed that fertilized that egg and lays present before the eyes.

Already it defies the ability to not believe in love

but jealousy is where the beauty dervived from

now barely surviving your truth

“Daddy isn’t dead, and no he does love you…it’s time I tell the truth”

Mommy told daddy that you… interject and inspect the truth

Before you bleed out your ability for complete selfishness

adolescence will need truth and daddy.

Don’t allow the bed you have made to be made for you child to

Teach him that while every descision won’t be his best

how fortifude is the most acclaimed of life heroic actions

to bravely go forward toward redemption

 

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Filed under a rant of love, change, growth, personal understanding, poetry, Positivity, relationships, Uncategorized

The Screening of Original Emotion Depiction “LOVE TRUE”

The Screening of Original Emotion Depiction “LOVE TRUE”.

This is a post on another blog I have created…. hope you all enjoy and check out my blog on a love unspoken…..

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Filed under a rant of love, blogs, change, influences, poetry

Left Him Inside of My Anger

I am sad, and shit I feel so blue
i don’t know what the fuck I am going to do
but I was tired of telling him everyday…. baby I love you
not when his words didn’t express 
 that same blessed text
Shit it was a mess 
the way I was saying I wanted a more
and how much I adore
and How i would never close the door
on us
when I realized I was the only one putting up a fuss
and that Iw as not really living inside of his love
so I left him inside of my anger
aborted in the the un-used hanger
where the airplane 
was lain slain
 on the side of the runway
and shit it wasn’t for real, but for play
we were playing house
and then cat and mouse
and now I feel so alone
Cuz my heart is not home
cuz home is with him
shit i might as well grow ten inches, a beard and call myself tim
Somehow I doubt he would notice the ten inch dick
I had suddenly grown, instead he would pull out a bic
and tell me I have a girl for you to meet
she is super neat
just not for me
Fuck living that nightmare
Instead I bare 
my heart and soul to you
and ask, what is a girl to do
when he ain’t saying to me… baby I love YOU
not that he loves anyone else
or maybe that’s a story i tell myself
Shit I push alot of things to the back of the shelf
marked “Don’t be stupid”
But i am tried of playing with cupid
how is she going to show me perfection
and then play me like taxes except this deduction
won;t give me any returns
his love reciept was firm in the expections department
I don;t go back or can;t be used as new
I used
Damaged
goods
I am good for fucks on parked car hoods
 or maybe even the emotional moment or two
but I will not ever fall in love again
I tried that shit
I lost, didn’t win
 So why would i place another bet
it may be a different game
but all yall broads are the same
Shit
We have different names
and I don’t want to place the blame
but I hate that bitch 
cuz now she making us look one in the same
but girl I got u cuz he can be so stubborn
that I why I  left him inside my frown
took a trip around town
looked for another face
Another place 
to lay my kiss
find sweet bliss
but it seems my heart
insists 
that I take my ass back to that hanger
where I had him slain in my anger
this man once a stranger
now so much apart of me
but I already know we could never be
Fuck
Now do you see
why I had to leave you back in side of my so sad
my so mad
cuz if I kept you in my smile
you would stay for a while
and I gotta get you out of here
You must exit my heart
and I know it’s not really my job, but it’s the hardest part
Knowing you live so close, so freely inside of me
when we 
can;t be
I can’t live in side your happy
be the sappy
part of your day
Be the reason your birds sing in may
cuz you said it was a negative
not a positive
the way
I was learning your tecnique
how our love had peaked
How we somehow had become a we
without a hint of design
somehow
it seemed so right that you were blind
to nothing of us
it was a plus 
not a minus
back then
but u shot me down
turned my smile to a frown
and didn’t even blink
when I went to town
to find another face
to place
my bliss 
with a kiss
you seemed to sigh in relief
turned a new leaf
when you realized
my anger 
was the stranger
that seemed to move into our house of sweet
you didn;t even want to compete
do you feel as incomplete?
guess I will never know
I took matters into my own hands
crossed the burning sands
Can’t come back
I didn’t survive the attack
that left me without you
I am just so fucking blue

What is a girl to do?

I am feeling very blue, for I have left him inside of my anger and I just can’t save him from the sea of moumental ugly in which i have drowned him. I was tired and somewhere in a mist of understanding I just lost my belief in love. Okay so I didn’t lose my belief in love I got tired of waiting for my heart to let go of this dream. This belief that he would someday find the beauty in my smile, the perfection in my walk, and he bright hue of my smile. Why didn’t he want to write poems about me like the other one does. Yes there is another. One who jloves me alot it seems in just a short time but it doesn’t take forever to find and live in love now does it. Now I said that this would document the love I have seen in the world and in my life and I haven’t even begun on the people I see the world I belong to and how much those crazy folks can;t see love if they tried, but he says… that I don’t live what I write and I can just hit in the face because the truth is, he just doesn;t see the love in me because he is a big ole scardey cate and I want to call him by his name but that would be wrong right but look here now. If God shows you this perfect love and then you taint it what am I to do. Now people I wasn’t exactly completely always right but darn it I am human and what does he expect me to be perfect because being perfect wasn’t going to get me anything but bullshit anyway…. and then just like that he was going to cheat on me and lose my heart and i know it sounds like I am back sliding but this is why I had to leave him inside of my anger and act as if he didn’t exist because if I didn;t. the blue would have been much deeper and would have completely taken my life and I need to leave. I need to breathe…. I am suppose to be someone’s mother and he already got kids and don’t want me to love them anyway… Okay I think some of this is lies and I am trying my best to be honest but my feelings are blocking the way. He is there left right inside of my storm and I swear I want to go get him but we can’t just argue and not say mean things, but the truth is I didn’t really say anything mean I just didn’t feel like hearing what he had to say because if it didn’t start with Love and end with forever shit I was tired of hearing it. Truth is…. he needs to see that I am pretty damn great and great don’t have to wait. And yes I am afraid that I gambled but shit at least I was brave enough to take a stand for myself. So there is he in my anger and he is going out the other way. He is not going to call me again, shit he didn’t call me when weren’t fighting but he said the sweetest thing last week and I think this may be the best thing for us cuz he is stronger than me cuz I would allow it to stay the same way… even though deep down i want more… its not fair but I love him, its crazy

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Filed under a rant of love, life, love, poetry, sad, writing