Category Archives: relationships

Dream You

I see you as eyelids touch full cheeks, your face pecan Browning e it against flawless skin, a man of African American lineage made just for me, the tattooed story of your experience hidden by shirts by day, exposed in the dark night to my finger tips, a voice of cool resolve and baritone enticing and assured. Educated by books convicted by experience. A heart large ready to. embrace the passion of the love I have within, no judgment in soulful brown eyes. Your imperfections beautiful. In love with God, you believe in the spirituality of living, the goal of a human soul. Can lead with love, can disagree with grace and emotional honesty, vulnerability doesn’t frighten you, trust leads the line of the things that binds a man to his half. A team is how you approach marriage, ambitious, yet still willing to touch new ground. Fear is nothing more than acknowledging that faith is needed. The mistakes of my past just parts of who I become, total acceptance in those sexy eyes. I dream you real, I dream you of my wants. You hold me in a bed made for two where there are no boundaries on the things we share. Our connection intercepts pain, trust blankets US, protecting us from the devils seeds of jealousy and fearful mistrust. Nothing plant in our garden as we plant beauty of the fruit of spirit, the chains of live that link us to blessing… starting with kindness, then patience, the fore sight of forgiveness, honesty. Our bodies live in the touch of hands, sharing emotion through the elements of attraction. A life of sharing, a life of Ssupport. You back ideas  that further my professional goals, read my words, watch me dance, I sit while you work, cheer you on, celebrating each goal you surpass. You fears are whispered in our sanctuary and my bosom lays for you to rebuild your strength. I pick up where you leave off. I offer my body for you to crawl into when the world seeks to threaten what you have built. I am your shelter. In our home you Are the king. Your kingdom your greatest accomplishment. I dream you with an identity. A life with true characters, supporting and leading. I dream you of all the things a man for me would fit perfectly… accepting. Kind, sexy, humble, creative, loyal, passionate, accomplished , able to help me reach the goals I have for me, the writing, the degree, the desire to touch lived, take care of family, enjoy friends, be in love like living is breathing each moment slowly…. I dream you in the vision I see. I dream with purpose. I dream you!

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Filed under a rant of love, change, desire, Emotion, evolution, growth, life, love, relationships, The L Word, The Me Files

Today for Choosing

Choices are made for definitive reasoning…. Make your choices with, I live with the intent of positive and feel the vibrations of greatness. This day has defined life for me in a new meaning, in a new space. I embrace it, I will it to change me into the person God has destined me to be. I see the power in life, the design of love, the importance of forgiveness   I look to the love I have been given today and I give it to faith, thankful for these moment before my life is altered forever. i feel your strength in my breath. I feel your unconditional love in my heartbeat, I feel your presence in my family. I feel your mercy in my ability to change. I feel you GOD. I have no fear in the eye of this storm, you have awakened me, with the introduction to this new beginning i give it to you. I am ready. I smile moving into the grief of life for I can make mine a meaning, a belief, a truth.

I live today for tomorrow, each choice, each moment, each understanding….

TO MY FRIENDS… WHEN I WAKE UP, COME TO ME, MEND MY WOUNDS WITH THE LOVE THAT ALLOWED ME TO LIVE… i DON’T REGRET MY LIFE

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July 11, 2014 · 6:58 am

Take My Spirit: You Can’t

I hear the footsteps of your pain, muddy with resentment, discontentment
A heart untouched by kind words,untouched by appreciation for what you give
The rain outside of your windows eternally fall unable to be sheltered from the picture you have painted to the world that fails to provide you the sunshine you need to grow and forgive
I hear them loudly in your tone
In your hurtful words
Your shield from the arms I open to protect you from  that downpour
Inhale my love, change your picture
Together we can clean your shoes
Clean away the dirty toils beneath your sole(soul).
Here we can change the forecast of our tomorrow
On our knees we can pray
I will stay within your grasp
Won’t leave you alone
Will set a new tone
In my willingness to be your umbrella in the storm
I feel your core
Feel the beauty you have lost
Just living in that rain
The insurmountable pain
Take my hand
I demand the light to shine within our time
Here we will endure bad, make a path to fine and arrive in the brightness of the sun
Vulnerabilities left with fear
Its time I share with you my faith
Its were my smile arrives
Its wear my pain is released
Its why my shoes are clean
Why the tears always end in a rainbow
Don’t live in the thunder, in that hurricane
Within is how we rebuild
Where we must heal….

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Filed under a rant of love, Choices, Emotion, life, pain, preception, relationships, religion, The World

Snooty…my Nephew is 21

Today we celebrate you
And all the beautiful things you do
How you have become the man you are..
Is evidence that with you God definitely set a new bar!
To say your great just wouldn’t be enough
Your bravery, your loyalty, your intelligence, your character
All are the makings of masculine royalty
Nephew of mine, you just have the stuff…
Most men will never have, you are the man, most boys will never come to be
A protector, even as a small boy you protected me
And 13 years your senior…I am the auntie.
Yet that is you a step above the rest always ahead of your time.
A special blessing, one of a kind
To not see it would mean being blind.
This day the final marker to adulthood
Its really just the beginning so I think you have got it good.
Remember to keep a cool head in adversity
Swim in your uniqueness, it’s what sets the tone in owning your diversity
Never compare yourself to the masses
With a brain like yours your a prime candidate for all the right chances
You will be more than great
You naturally have what it takes
To soar high high above the rest
You already have beat the odds in some of life’s greatest test.
In my heart of discernment
The destiny you own will create an environment of riches
As a black man, the devil will tempt you with the wickedness of hustlers, dope runners, and profiling police ditches
I already know the the road you choose will be the one that enables you to grow
Trust your heart when your mind is unsure
Your spirit on first response will always be your cure
The pride I feel for you is more than I can ever say
On this special day
When you were first born at first glance
We shared a beautiful dance
Our smiles in tandem, even when the miles between us are many
Know I love you with a heart of plenty
My handsome and notorious Snooty!!!
Happy 21st birthday!!!!

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Filed under a rant of love, change, destiny, growth, life, love, relationships, Written Emotion

We Made Our Last Memories

Last Night We created our last memories. The last time I would listen to your voice, say your name, feel your intense depth of understanding. While you spoke I saw the Love you are feeling, love for any other. Entitled to happiness, I must release you. I must free myself from the connection We share. Heard each Word , each detail of passionate pain they Have caused you. As you left My World, you have no idea that over the next several weeks I will purge myself on the intoxicating admiration that mesmerizes my truth. This love I feel knows that without this day it would not survive you. It will posion My belief, corrupt the reflection My eyes see. I know I Said I would never leave. I intended to live in this thing We do share. In an instant My truth became doubt. In your words, your revelation falling from lips that have rarely touched My own revealed that your Love rejects the explanation of Love I Have for you. You Said.she held you down, Stayed at your side When no allusions were displayed in your situation. Held you, kept you. You deny the power you give These things you deny you feel to your heart. Beaten, broken and scarred you nurse the wounds of her past. You claim her meaning to you. Freely you set me free.  My love was always here. Always loyal and true…. But never enough to be in your heart, the way they all Have auditioned to be.  The best friend you Have I now see… I am the place your soul and mind meet, yet you never allowed your heart to know me. Each breath taken to reveal the trails of your life, became the ammunition to free this heart enslaved. Love is still burning inside for you, but I dont Want to stay. I cant stay, must reduce the lifetime We invested in. Now Just a season. Will take all that has been given By God between us. Maybe our futures will intersect, better, and in Sync for whatever We could be. Its time I set you free, give My heart a.chance to be loved. I Want the best for you. From afar I will see it, . Wish I could be braver,less selfish.

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Filed under a rant of love, change, love, meaning, pain, personal understanding, relationships, self love, unrequited love, Written Emotion

Last Night We created our last memories. The last time I would listen to your voice, say your name, feel your intense depth of understanding. While you spoke I saw the Love you are feeling, love for any other. Entitled to happiness, I must release you. I must free myself from the connection We share. Heard each Word , each detail of passionate pain they Have caused you. As you left My World, you have no idea that over the next several weeks I will purge myself on the intoxicating admiration that mesmerizes my truth. This love I feel knows that without this day it would not survive you. It will posion My belief, corrupt the reflection My eyes see. I know I Said I would never leave. I intended to live in this thing We do share. In an instant My truth became doubt. In your words, your revelation falling from lips that have rarely touched My own revealed that your Love rejects the explanation of Love I Have for you. You Said.she held you down, Stayed at your side When no allusions were displayed in your situation. Held you, kept you. You deny the power you give These things you deny you feel to your heart. Beaten, broken and scarred you nurse the wounds of her past. You claim her meaning to you. Freely you set me free.  My love was always here. Always loyal and true…. But never enough to be in your heart, the way they all Have auditioned to be.  The best friend you Have I now see… I am the place your soul and mind meet, yet you never allowed your heart to know me. Each breath taken to reveal the trails of your life, became the ammunition to free this heart enslaved. Love is still burning inside for you, but I dont Want to stay. I cant stay, must reduce the lifetime We invested in. Now Just a season. Will take all that has been given By God between us. Maybe our futures will intersect, better, and in Sync for whatever We could be. Its time I set you free, give My heart a.chance to be loved. I Want the best for you. From afar I will see it, . Wish I could be braver,less selfish.

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Filed under a rant of love, change, love, meaning, pain, personal understanding, relationships, self love, unrequited love, Written Emotion

Absence , Yours Held Me

in the mirror I see you,

their in the slant of my eyes

at your featured cleft copied to my chin

Can’t escape the you that’s is the beginning to my core

can’t take away from the four

identifying marks that label me yours

you aversion to love, you abuse of truth

I can’t escape which I was dervived of

Can’t erase what I arrived from

All of it a part of me

even the dark dingy parts that make me want to resists myself

violently, denying any parts of you reside within

as much as I want to use the word hate to combat the lack of love shown

with each hurt feeling bruise of your lack of action , I have grown

I know I can’t change you but use you as a propelled in flesh example of what not to be

you see even in the pain, wet from tears pouring like rain

those portals of rain became the chain of links that left me with truth

disappointment of desire to have arms circled around my misunderstanding

taught the lesson that even those issued jobs of caring won’t care if God is not present in their intent

to some extinct

the sadness has become pity

A sentence of infinity deadbolt locked to life, here in this hell fell beyond heaven

left to atmospheric us humans inside deep the soul lives

I know this life is to come to a close at some point

i feel the truth of humanity, the gift of this human suit made of leather repairing skin

which is done right one time will show that its all about appreaciation

appreciating the bad days along with the good

ALDAY

Your home as gritty as ghetto’s with shot soaring through the quiet nights

My hood no different, just without the sadness of others the binding of brothers by gangs

no rising brotherhood connecting me to sentimentality of feeling no my hood was small, just two you and I

as i began down the path of streets beat to avoid your face

my never dying disgrace to you lips

your taste for me had me stripped fom the seasoned food of my truth

Soon I would find out that your hood, your dynasty of control

was trully hood… it was a exit exam for elementary thought and enabled mind

so many of peers owned.. yes it was a hood of divinity and it expelled the weak and ignorant and built intelligent sympathetic warriors see Hood.. Was Heaven’s opportunity for me offerinig definitive characterstics.

A suburbian home of midlife love comfortable and daily the same

does not build believers of fight

Believers in the right of the common good

I did grow hurt and I did deter from the roads that others will call right

yet warriors training gladiators don’t come from homes of lies so perfect they feel like truth

with perfect youth tales all surface no lessons of shame, or eyes of change

A later in life successors comes fom the experience of life unpopular by popular belief

if smiles were not made to be appreaciated from previously understated or underrated

melodic sighs of relief

that I would be just a spoiled doll girl like so many peers still lost in the formindable years when me was all that could be heard fom their wanting lips

Those girls who played with the rounded grounds of attraction, firm booties, high titties and the  ability to just get without work

So I must say thank you for your damaging ways,  selfish days never producing conversations of my little lady warnings

the exception is “don’t be like me regretting babies wishing i was some other place other than here

The direct consequence is my eloquence,

my heartbeat strong, my fear only a motivation

my denying of mediocrity , my journey on a road to beliefs untaught by your presence inbred by your absentee parenting

Now I look over at my paiin and it seems so lame in compariion to what it is your feeling or hiding.This time I must admit

not so different fom you so confused and immersed in me

With the revision of faith and the appearence of belief, the admission of guilt

the action of accountability

My path now changed taking roads chosen by instinct, lesson learned consequence simple

when roads of right. treated quoted to our young learning,  one of the few truth from that

basic instructions before leaving earth booklet,

some learned before idea is first person, the bible

use it, to conform, read it for summation noy literal be valued for lesson as seen in, experienced shared i

this statement earned number lesson, how you retrieve the most abundant of blessings

treat those who your connection in all things as you have to you

powerful, but simple in its explanation no need for interruption

no belief, no movement, no revolution will differ in it’s exploration or delivery

it simply knows nothing of experience or sensation

for those not with words so pretty, it’s easy no detail

not doing what I don’t want relayed to me

Its alot heavy yet,

Yet, so easy to carry,

Unlike that wrong which was lite, difficult to carry

infectious consequences side effect crippling

Manipulating the mind,

Deliberate retreats to sell illusions, graphic delusions,

I resist this I won’t apply, your inability to to look outside I

Yet, me the I inside is the only 3Ye used to see, speak, or feel,

I do not have to apply those learned behaviors

Instead, ideal earned by nurturing the difference I see

So I click back, Undo, the application permissions,

hating me for hating the you in me

i forgive my reflection for it’s likeness to you

yet if I forget to trust that raw inner feeling

test ahead for faith, notification

I find the beauty of letting go and letting GOd.

He made me of you so I could take care of you

so I might as well take the express train to acceptance

your never going to change

That story is gone so old , its time to start a new book, a new story

a new page

 

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Filed under a rant of love, change, Choices, desire, destiny, Emotion, gratitude, growth, influences, life, love, relationships, The Me Files, Uncategorized, women, you

Bed Made

I am not about being the oppressor, being the one to call your bluff

but what the fuck…

Do you know how many good women are sitting at home praying for a good man to walk through the door and be home

lay his hat on the coat rack, his briefcase at the door

How many women who put up with bullshit

just wishing he was the right kind

in his right mind

will stay the night this time

and you have one who has offered you everything to just make him your play thing

Okay men have played the game with hearts for centuries

it might even be coded into the chromosones before they are multiplied cells

for it seems that on average it is a commonality that men

treat hearts with brutality

Especially after they have  played honestly once to just be played

Yet if I calculate the stories of true pain

I mean the kind that change the core of belief in love

then men seemed to be the most effected. Us ladies

must be tenacious

able to fogive and move to the next without the penalty of war crimes

holding us hostage

The male ability to logically repeat with the next

the same beginnings of the ex are simply

not as easy for them to comprehend

so why with the knowledge would use your womb

to gain access to not just love but security

taking our greatest possibility

to being living proof o miraclous beyond the high

beauty

why would you use his seed to feed your body

decorate your homes or to right his wrongs

for as you laid in the made bed

you lead his heart with his vulnerabilty

his need to connect emotionally already

without your legs opening you were in the zone of wrong

see his heart don’t beat so fiercely or as long

built with the belief that men provide and not complain

that while hurt is universal without name or claim

told to blink back leaks fom expressive eyes to square shoulders

the wars of emotional tyranny are told to be released. when hurt in this life, against  the world… son you fight…

is that what your going to teach the son you just gambled

when you  played, plotted and trapped his daddy with his physical pull to lay with you

penetrate you, copulate knowing after he pulled out he probably would walk out

All you had were thos sensually driven moments, those honest words he spoken a million days ago before you showed the holes in the script you you wrote with the intent to make him yours

when he implicitly said, no desire to wed, no desire for forever, just need this.

this hit that i will manipulate with lip to lips sweet touches some define as kiss

Now his child that he loves with whole cognitive not intent freely and completely

no desire to be so running like forrest unless toward this creation of two even if the half was you

the woman who he hurt then repented loved again but then

you played him, with the perparation of making his station in this life to also include father to soon

a baby wasn’t something he hadn’t projected to be added to his life, just not befoe he asked his heart desire to be his wife and he was hurt mostly because you knew about the blueprint he had designed for his accession to manhood

no what’s up hood, no banging gangs, no baby making for mama’s to define him

you said that baby was not in your current plans reciprocated his desire to just be a young man and you the woman to compliment him

You knew and you said you would never do that type of thing to a man

never use his youthful lust and his naive love to be the glove

that fit his fear just to keep him near

no babies frivolously made friday nights in his bed

you know what you said

I don’t mean to judge but I know him without the romance of sexing, texting cute hellos

I know him beyond what he protrays

what he sells for interest, understand the truth he didn’t onfide in you because he was afraid you yell dismiss instead showing him glossed lips to kiss

I know he said he loved you to, he did, and still hold love for you but what you did was wrong

now you are the predator no greater than he before you told him he would be a daddy

the only true risk in this game you play is that seed that fertilized that egg and lays present before the eyes.

Already it defies the ability to not believe in love

but jealousy is where the beauty dervived from

now barely surviving your truth

“Daddy isn’t dead, and no he does love you…it’s time I tell the truth”

Mommy told daddy that you… interject and inspect the truth

Before you bleed out your ability for complete selfishness

adolescence will need truth and daddy.

Don’t allow the bed you have made to be made for you child to

Teach him that while every descision won’t be his best

how fortifude is the most acclaimed of life heroic actions

to bravely go forward toward redemption

 

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Filed under a rant of love, change, growth, personal understanding, poetry, Positivity, relationships, Uncategorized

The Arriving Man

As a woman I live in an understanding of my emotional culture. With each documented moment I live binding a library of books of my experiences. Something I find on my journey are moments of interaction with men in my community some of them from homes broken and others from families assembled by time and others in the traditional make up. The black man has been the consequence of negativity and forlorn thought. The black man is an elusive entity of strength and as the community of my peers evolve from young men to men it’s most powerful era I look at the elegance of transistion and the opposition of being a  legacy of decisions that maybe the men before them took. I am a woman and I like other little black girls were left to become women without the presence of a man in the home. Yet as God provides me the gift of  his love he has shown me the new understanding of the black man who has shed the heavy coat of prejudice and the cotton of a too hot life when trying to get  to a moderately comfortable temperature in there atmosphere of being the man on the outside of privilege. These arriving men whom I have named arriving because through the storms of history and disrespect and the lack of support These men truly need they still come through those foggy moments hoping and trying their best. They even arrive to the storms of us loud talking, strong willed, fatherless and fathered mess of understanding women.. Yet as a woman sometimes loving that man who needs so much love is hard but see him as arriving.. Why? Today I hear more men say… I have full custody of my baby… insert son and alot more in my world insert daughter. They breathe for these children, facing the disappointment of being not enough or not having enough in the dank aftermath of heated summers of no lemonade stands and no baseball games on shoulders of that elder likeness and those of us who live amongst the on the streets of father non-applicable to me… cuz I don’t know my daddy we know the pain of being apart of a single parent home and feel the strain of traits not owned by mommy. We are the generation of change and we are changing our outlook and we are fighting loudly with  the access of technology,,,, I am proud of us regardless of these colored skin suits. And I know in the colonies of different hues lives homes broken and children hearts broken by the choices of those who are our key to lifetimes of lifelines that teach us how we think, and live and celebrate life.

SO it’s for the man arriving in your world as well, those colored life coffee, deep and brown those with layered choices with skin so bright and illuminating, those have culture built in this soil, their heritage with their land stolen…  so do not be left out. Yet my fondness for these men made so much like me with deep brown skin, shadowed eyes and hearts of solid beaming gold left hidden with cavities of teflon. My little boys who have taken the stereotypes and made them enterprises, took the grid irons and concrete courts from games to headlines and fame. Those growing boys turned men with need to fight and survive instead of drive and arrive are still beating down the hot block with hearts that want to be home, want to know those kids even when they laid down to be incarcerated by women who still have the learned lesson that men leave… don’t believe, don’t grieve, left to live with pain than to have it eased. SO many days they sit with breaths caught in chest hoping to slang enough, dunk enough, take enough to be the present father and not just the donor who fertilized a egg with his seed.

Yes I want you to be the best man you can be, yet I also see the struggle and desire to aid you in knowing your worth and those small things also mean something. The desire, the attempt, the faith, the hope, the strength and the experience you both show, and provide bleed your love. As women we can nurture those strengths. Your power is in the love you feel, the meal you cook to quell the hunger, the sex you indulge in to show him the importance and need to not just your heart but your body.  The love they so seldom vocalize but will always show in their resounding baritone as they ask where we have been, if the oil has been checked, how they will walk on the outside, and do their best to apply what they have never learned but know in their hearts is right. Just the fight to live will show how much many desire to not be the stagnant typed without the stereo for its never displayed how much it hurts to have to say, not applicable and does not apply when it comes to the language we can’t identify whether it be fatherly or motherly love. This community of strength taught to survive… we need to learn how to thrive, be our own resource of love… Move away from the belief that we must be the dog that dined on the dog of circumstance. Must unite if you want to fight and win.

A generation passed full of daddy’s rolling by home home to collect stones they were made to believed were jewels…NO HOME IS WITHOUT IT”S STRUGGLE… and no parent meant to create and mold life alone. These men are a special breed, descendents of man made Achilles heels, robbed of identity, used as common artillery, bred to do the work of building empires of which they could not call home and while slavery had died on the dark hot tar we call pavement… it has already been paved and if not actively fought will remain submerged in hate.

No this is not about slavery for we are each free.  wanting to make a loud noise in the sake of revolution to be another block of words strung together about being the victim looking on to the inside with too much fear, too much pride and just enough anger to be forced to grow. I am a woman among many women with matching skin id’s and similar history, The women who love these black men, lets us the be their place of  love make his house his home so he leave behind his spot, his crib , make our homes kingdoms. Not with things but with those jewels of love… we call them support, trust, forgiveness, loyalty, kindness, tolerance and self control. Let us use our action of physical love with fortitude and and be the woman who sees his heart and chooses it above all. Yes we women have pains and hurts, yet me make the time whether right or wrong to sing our song, some constant singing his wrongs. Each replay comes with a fine of his worth, and time for he sees your pain and despite what all continue to think… a man in love with a woman in love with him… is not afraid to speak freely when she wears her priceless jewels daily and shows him the ultimate jewel is him.

… why do you think these men stay with you even when love didn’t build that home. Even as your belittle his masculinity instead of just telling him your pain. Why do you think they are not so quick to divulge in (sorry about my language) sharing the true power of his magic wand , his sword you’re so quick to use in a scheme to shut you down.. ONce it’s been offered you no longer hold the cards… he already  has part of your heart. In no way am I taking away  the power of a woman, a black woman who might look something like me…

I know your pain, I know your need… and part of our want is based on that man you desire… so open your eyes and see him arriving and love him gently. Promote his power in your world, Provide a safe place for his emotional vulnerability so he may use it has the secret weapons to slay his enemies and practice love in your words, needs, and actions… Show him that even know love has its flaws and you certainly don’t take lies, abuse, or negativity. Just do it the way love would.

For the world in which he lives and struggles to be seen as a equal… befriend him… he is a man just as you… regardless of the clothes he wears, his choice of song, his difference in opinion. He is like you really the only difference is his flavor. Regardless he is arriving, from shallow graves of mis conception, perception , and infectious outbreaks of humanity and their ignorant thinking.

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Filed under a rant of love, change, desire, Emotion, evolution, motivation, opportunity, pain, Positivity, preception, relationships

Design of Desire

Many people think of love as this romantic notion of chemical reactions that you feel toward someone of the opposite sex or same sex if that’s your preference or experience. They never see it as this divine understanding, or this unlimited source of power and that’s what it is. A source of understanding and power. Or at least that’s the understanding that I have come to, even a source of power toward one’s self, the more you love yourself the more powerful and successful you seem to be in my opinion or my understanding. Example, the idea or nature of hubris is a self love that is so beyond the norm it’s gotten a wrap that states that its  more arrogance, more than selfishness but an elite being with yourself that you actually believe that you are above and beyond what society has settled as standard and normal.  


Entrance of the design of desire, the design of wanting the element of the physical manifestation of love. The intricate and dynamic design of wanting to feel this thing that we can’t touch or put a physical demand or ideology on that which we can not see, what we can not touch. It’s a hidden glimpse of this thing that we are suppose to give freely and touch never. I desire the touch of my “Urban Prophet” I desire the look of his eyes directly into my mine as he hovers over me, as I allow him entrance into the places that are reserved for someone special, someone as a woman I am taught to save for marriage. Yet many of us decide to allow love to flow from our intimate places at the first twinge of feeling in places that were marked benign as we are growing up and learning that women are vastly different from men in the ideology of feeling and the design of desire.


Yet how true is it, how different are we from men, is their design for desire so different from the fairer sex.  My “Urban Prophet” has taught me that men have the same intricate designs of desires that we do, the same want, the same need, yet the force of  their design is much different in the impact of it. As women when we are disappointed, we find ways to regroup, remold and redefine or redesign as we approach different chances for another hidden glimpse of love.  Where men are taught at a young age to not disclose or claim the element of the feelings that they feel, told to hide and keep closed the door of intimate understanding. Told not to cry, to not demonstrate the defenses that we are told to embrace and understand. Loving a man can sometimes be harder then loving our children, because as an adult that claims no design of desire, they leash and frame the intimate tags as a fire that is quenched when felt if not harbored and feed slowly and kept contained. Their design still so powerful and can be so brilliant in its deliverance, if taught properly, if embraced completely.
So tell me, how powerful is love, how grand the design of it that it causes people to change, in ways of positive and negative. Causes women to continue to propel forward when disappointed again and again, and causes men such pause they are forever affected. What is your design of desire?
Mine is in his voice, in his walk, in his over all demonstration. It’s in the truth he demands in me, in the love he secretes as we couple. It’s in the power and conviction of his relationships with others, in his eyes as he demands a deeper knowledge of me. The design of my desire is in the words he speaks and how well he arranges them…. it’s the hidden glimpse of what I want in myself that is manifested in his actions. 

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