Category Archives: Written Emotion

Today for Choosing

Choices are made for definitive reasoning…. Make your choices with, I live with the intent of positive and feel the vibrations of greatness. This day has defined life for me in a new meaning, in a new space. I embrace it, I will it to change me into the person God has destined me to be. I see the power in life, the design of love, the importance of forgiveness   I look to the love I have been given today and I give it to faith, thankful for these moment before my life is altered forever. i feel your strength in my breath. I feel your unconditional love in my heartbeat, I feel your presence in my family. I feel your mercy in my ability to change. I feel you GOD. I have no fear in the eye of this storm, you have awakened me, with the introduction to this new beginning i give it to you. I am ready. I smile moving into the grief of life for I can make mine a meaning, a belief, a truth.

I live today for tomorrow, each choice, each moment, each understanding….

TO MY FRIENDS… WHEN I WAKE UP, COME TO ME, MEND MY WOUNDS WITH THE LOVE THAT ALLOWED ME TO LIVE… i DON’T REGRET MY LIFE

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July 11, 2014 · 6:58 am

Snooty…my Nephew is 21

Today we celebrate you
And all the beautiful things you do
How you have become the man you are..
Is evidence that with you God definitely set a new bar!
To say your great just wouldn’t be enough
Your bravery, your loyalty, your intelligence, your character
All are the makings of masculine royalty
Nephew of mine, you just have the stuff…
Most men will never have, you are the man, most boys will never come to be
A protector, even as a small boy you protected me
And 13 years your senior…I am the auntie.
Yet that is you a step above the rest always ahead of your time.
A special blessing, one of a kind
To not see it would mean being blind.
This day the final marker to adulthood
Its really just the beginning so I think you have got it good.
Remember to keep a cool head in adversity
Swim in your uniqueness, it’s what sets the tone in owning your diversity
Never compare yourself to the masses
With a brain like yours your a prime candidate for all the right chances
You will be more than great
You naturally have what it takes
To soar high high above the rest
You already have beat the odds in some of life’s greatest test.
In my heart of discernment
The destiny you own will create an environment of riches
As a black man, the devil will tempt you with the wickedness of hustlers, dope runners, and profiling police ditches
I already know the the road you choose will be the one that enables you to grow
Trust your heart when your mind is unsure
Your spirit on first response will always be your cure
The pride I feel for you is more than I can ever say
On this special day
When you were first born at first glance
We shared a beautiful dance
Our smiles in tandem, even when the miles between us are many
Know I love you with a heart of plenty
My handsome and notorious Snooty!!!
Happy 21st birthday!!!!

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Filed under a rant of love, change, destiny, growth, life, love, relationships, Written Emotion

My Final Scene..

You all broke my heart.
Tore me from my hope
Demolished the road paved to my dreams
Took the road of catered pain
Whether the rain
With the storms I could see
Instead of the serpents disguised

to look like love
Took the dark and unsure roads of risk
The ways of walking you taught
painted gold and shiny things were not the beautiful of rare gems
U glittered like gold
Just painted in acrylic with a dusted shine
Paying the fine
For crimes committed before my time
Deserted me, averted me
Perverted my sense of self
No love holds my heart
No jewels valued
She is my heart
Hot, wet
Something I can feel
I Know love, my true gift, nothing more than a valuable curse
Heart em blazed scattered among infinity
a universe crying it’s empathy
It’s pity died with mine.
It’s gone and so am I
Today we celebrate my last breath
In moments dedicated to righting my wrongs
The death of my love
I thought it would cling
Constant song of that ring
Of my need
To show you I care
Its to late
Kick me to the wolves.
Knock me down
Your suggested crown
Don’t symbolize “royal”
On your team
Never again
I am loyal
To me.. Giving all this love, all this good in my heart to God. Going to live the life that shadows the sun you burn in.. I choose the night where I can see what lurks before me.
Your blows left wounds that have pierced my purity.

Took away my trust..

Was already alone
Now I can stop pretending not to be..

Like roads don’t have two directions in which tread.

So sick,

diseased by love abused,

vacant and traumatized.

Lost life to fantasize for tree’s flowers and you welcoming me home.

life is bitter with lessons told.. And dreams sold

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September 28, 2013 · 5:56 am

We Made Our Last Memories

Last Night We created our last memories. The last time I would listen to your voice, say your name, feel your intense depth of understanding. While you spoke I saw the Love you are feeling, love for any other. Entitled to happiness, I must release you. I must free myself from the connection We share. Heard each Word , each detail of passionate pain they Have caused you. As you left My World, you have no idea that over the next several weeks I will purge myself on the intoxicating admiration that mesmerizes my truth. This love I feel knows that without this day it would not survive you. It will posion My belief, corrupt the reflection My eyes see. I know I Said I would never leave. I intended to live in this thing We do share. In an instant My truth became doubt. In your words, your revelation falling from lips that have rarely touched My own revealed that your Love rejects the explanation of Love I Have for you. You Said.she held you down, Stayed at your side When no allusions were displayed in your situation. Held you, kept you. You deny the power you give These things you deny you feel to your heart. Beaten, broken and scarred you nurse the wounds of her past. You claim her meaning to you. Freely you set me free.  My love was always here. Always loyal and true…. But never enough to be in your heart, the way they all Have auditioned to be.  The best friend you Have I now see… I am the place your soul and mind meet, yet you never allowed your heart to know me. Each breath taken to reveal the trails of your life, became the ammunition to free this heart enslaved. Love is still burning inside for you, but I dont Want to stay. I cant stay, must reduce the lifetime We invested in. Now Just a season. Will take all that has been given By God between us. Maybe our futures will intersect, better, and in Sync for whatever We could be. Its time I set you free, give My heart a.chance to be loved. I Want the best for you. From afar I will see it, . Wish I could be braver,less selfish.

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Filed under a rant of love, change, love, meaning, pain, personal understanding, relationships, self love, unrequited love, Written Emotion

Last Night We created our last memories. The last time I would listen to your voice, say your name, feel your intense depth of understanding. While you spoke I saw the Love you are feeling, love for any other. Entitled to happiness, I must release you. I must free myself from the connection We share. Heard each Word , each detail of passionate pain they Have caused you. As you left My World, you have no idea that over the next several weeks I will purge myself on the intoxicating admiration that mesmerizes my truth. This love I feel knows that without this day it would not survive you. It will posion My belief, corrupt the reflection My eyes see. I know I Said I would never leave. I intended to live in this thing We do share. In an instant My truth became doubt. In your words, your revelation falling from lips that have rarely touched My own revealed that your Love rejects the explanation of Love I Have for you. You Said.she held you down, Stayed at your side When no allusions were displayed in your situation. Held you, kept you. You deny the power you give These things you deny you feel to your heart. Beaten, broken and scarred you nurse the wounds of her past. You claim her meaning to you. Freely you set me free.  My love was always here. Always loyal and true…. But never enough to be in your heart, the way they all Have auditioned to be.  The best friend you Have I now see… I am the place your soul and mind meet, yet you never allowed your heart to know me. Each breath taken to reveal the trails of your life, became the ammunition to free this heart enslaved. Love is still burning inside for you, but I dont Want to stay. I cant stay, must reduce the lifetime We invested in. Now Just a season. Will take all that has been given By God between us. Maybe our futures will intersect, better, and in Sync for whatever We could be. Its time I set you free, give My heart a.chance to be loved. I Want the best for you. From afar I will see it, . Wish I could be braver,less selfish.

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Filed under a rant of love, change, love, meaning, pain, personal understanding, relationships, self love, unrequited love, Written Emotion

Audible Smile

It is beautiful how it happens when you think you expect something and find that you only expected to be. To be in that moment, when you feel happy or end up in a smile that is audible, escaping a place that you really don’t understand is there because when it happens it’s always a surprise. Even when I stimulate it, intentionally; that place with stories that sell reality with a sense of play, memories that take you back to happy days that have of comic sighs and those smiles that become audible unexpected moments of beautiful. I mark the days that tears meet those audible smiles because those are days that acceptance of the most unexplainable seems to happen. When my expectation is exceeded beyond what was somehow inbred inside of me due to previous action or choice or interaction. To live each day available to the ability to have unexpected connection to that place within myself in which a smile arrives and that sound escapes me. The reflection that images share, that mirrors, that me can put a smile on, that is expected and intended, yet that me where sincerity is born with moments of unexpected who sometimes can’t find the smile when I need it the most. Each moment, each heartbeat, each extension that connects you to the life you live is appreciation if you share it with yourself first and then whoever shares your place, the place that can give birth to your audible smile.

Believe in the unexpected, in the unexplainable, unique beautiful that is not sold by opinion of others, by past versions of some other humans version of it. We spend days seeking truths and happiness, and some other person to connect to, and we forget that all that we seek can be found in that place that is pregnant trimester into day into moments still coming with availability for those unexpected moment of smiles that become audible, taking the body sometimes into full body spasms and then a deep breath that escapes open lips as we give the body oxygen for the souls invasion.

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Filed under personal understanding, Positivity, Written Emotion, you

Born 1st (today) Gift of a Big Sister…..


The Beat of drums dying in the distance create the collage of illustrated thought. Moments of memories waving in between to short perfect movies scenes and life altering kisses that take our breaths away.  

Your drum is not lost to a fading beat… it is still strong in its pulse, hitting the pavement of days with immediate and striking balance, igniting the fusion of sexy saxphone calls and serene keys of the pianos classic and notable emotional cords. The music of your soul knows no limitation of the land, bares no notice to the heated and desperate calls of negative. Your music is the soulful mixture of your desire, your faith, hope and belief in the miracles of love. The ripening of your mind only increases each year when you celebrate the anniversary of your birth. A collage of your journey.. triumphs, struggles, and movement. Today is not just about how you got here, whom the vessel was or the lineage left behind. Today is a collected memoir of thoughts and changes. We celebrate the core of your being, and the love that created the home for the soul that lives within..

A sister is a common oxymoronic entitlement of ownership bestowed by right of birth and the espionage of genetics. As the first-born of your inherited tribe you have been the pioneer, the liaison and the basis of cause. The path to tread and the vote to acquire. As the youngest I have lived in the well of your presence, yet have warmed and been soothed by the care of your parental knowledge. I have acquired the blessing and curse of leadership that at times have been nothing more than a pain in the side at my time of battle. Yet it has also been the healing to wounds that only a sister could heal. In our embrace we have found and learned the art of the un conditional form of living that is blind to resistance. We resist not to forgive. We resist not to love. An embedded army stands at my side, as you are a soldier for our happiness, even when we are the ones that cause you pain. You have been the nurturing alliance when the enemy is the our common exchange of blood, dna and bind that is tied to the presence of learning to go with the punches, rolling over then into complete triumph. The job of a big sister never dies, never lessens in its demands and never quits with few benefits and no place to mark complaint. Yet being the little sister gives me the experience to say… that had you not chopped down those trees and found those caves of passage.. I would not be able to write, not be able to be the rogue free spirit that I am. Without you taking on the pains of growing up first… I would not be able to come in pick up the slack.  Your just being is a gift to our family.  And as today will quickly become the past, moving so fast, today is God‘s way… of showing you the love that he feels so unconditionally just for you. A quick reminder that at the moment of your birth, the stars aligned, the room went silent, the light began to shine, and someone we both know well… said… “My baby girl, she is all mine” and that is eternal, beyond this life, not to be lost in death… it’s so powerful… love that it’s the only thing that doesn’t need the present as a gift.. for it outlast time.

To My Oldest Sister with Love….

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Filed under life, love, Written Emotion