Monthly Archives: February 2014

To-Get-Her: A Birthday Gift : My Big Sister Shawishi!!!!!

A poem written for my Sister Shawishi Haynes on her birthday 2-20-20114 (I never did forget I just wanted it to be my Shawishi Brand of Perfect. Accept this gift of my best part of me…. Much love and appreaciation.

You may not even remember the day you taught me a way to remember how to spell together….. Well  I do.. It is the single most influential three minutes  of my childhood.

My gift to you

what better than a piece of the best part of me….

With words I can exceed the mundane…

Words are my rain

They cleanse the mental debris moments

Left dark and turbulent

My air fresh promise ripe to inhale

I ingest each thought

Forgiveness, old pain …. each one, pleasant

Just lesson”s learned

those memories are sunshine and cloud-less skies

So here for you I will let my rain pour heavy and loud in your garden of our history

Bring you into the spring of a life, ripe and new

Days marked by the images grasped by my small and child like hands

Along the long corridors of mind where my childhood dwells I walk a mile

There in many different files resides reflective bound copies of your a smile

Your smile, unique,  piercing, extravagant

The perfect singular tribute to you

Your laugh, that laugh lingers,

draws words to it melody, magnetic, hypnotic

Can detect it’s vibration

It can be heard from distant vantage points

It’s a compass, my way to find you

it always finds you youthful,

In a library, college camps, colored paper, your study group

I sit aside my thoughts, “How pretty learning looks when it’s with you

I ask .. “Why is it purple? Your paper? When everyone else has paper white no colorful hue…

A smile appears… It’s for a class.. History Sec 102..

That is how I see that hazy day,.. learning so big and beautiful,


You teach me things

I hear those words many times in my walk along our memories

We are in a backseat, the outside surroundings blurred

“I can’t remember” I say

‘Break it down” is your response

“To”I repeat “Get” You say “Her” We say TOGETHER


Simply Beautiful

Every Day from then on, my brain would never let that one word

Scramble or get lost searching

It was filed in front

even today

As I spell together a smile emerges

on how you actually did “Get Me”

Faithful to your power

Loyal to your cacophony of praises

when others want to dismantle your song

All along

You so different from me

Hard to gauge emotionally

Resilient in YOUR ability to set goals and reach them

You, the epitome of what a BIG Sister  should BE

A model to emulate

A directive to refer to

The actuality of successful reality

Trembling fingers, a stomach of butterflies

I offer these broad shoulders

a place to rest your Burdens

It’s my speciality

My spiritual quest

The ability to hear the heart murmurs

Allow them the platform to scream, loud and free

without the pungent smell of perception, reception  interjection and objection

that rarely embrace or comfort

I offer my rain here, now to cleanse the walls  of your heart

erase the faded notes of thoughts unable to be relayed

Remove the residue that stains lips with words unspoken

Left abandoned to let  loved ones who have come

 vomit their words of pain

Leave the messes of their mistakes at your feet

I know many have left them there in need

I should know.. that’s how I have come to be here.

Now that I have arrived

ALLOW ME to show the tremendous power of extended hand to grasp in need

The power of a mother being what she didn’t quite receive

Allow me to show you, your beauty in the reflection of my rainbow

It shines upon you now as I have let this downpour  puddle

here in this heart emotionally able, without any murmurs

Monolithic is a bond between sisters, a club so exclusive

Reaches beyond memories, beyond experiences of now or tomorrow

So if the murmurs create any space in you hollow

I have the room for your downloads

You need to upload those thoughts losts,

Those words unspoken

or maybe somewhere between all you do,

needs left unmet

and being your little sister’s

Every day, extra-ordinary hero

Let’s GET (to-get-her)

share with you my ability to rain my words into the hearts

that touched me

Tell a world about how

in a backseat, a little girl

Unsure and unable to remember, came to be

A woman that gives the gift of words in a box wrapped with


Happy Birthday dear sister

who didn’t know how together I realized a dream

Of breaking down words I could spell or remember to build them back up to bring us all together


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Rafael Casal

Rafael Casal… ( the crush I have on His words)


Fell in love with his words

His rhyme

Fell in love with the way his heart seemed to mimic mine

Like my men brown, decadent decent of Africa

With the touch of American Ghetto Swag, Sometime a soildier

But every single time evolutionary legendary brothern of thought

Will win the war to my heart

Until I heard his mind relayed in a poets language

Found out he was a bay area hip hop “Want to Fly” by the wings of Rap

Except his skin didn’t glow the brown I so love as though there are no other shades

The part of my belief that I couldn’t fall in love with personality fades

He is beautiful, open, splendor of words

The part of me that Is my greatest gift

But scares the shit out of everything that is up on that shelf marked worth reaching

Each time I heard something new from him

His beauty swelled inside of my thought

I ought to write him a letter off my admiration

The consideration of being just another fan

Made the option of can

A resident of probably not

It was something about him that I just needed to know

Somehow my being his fan has made me grow

Gave more of my thoughts power

He did it

Why can’t I?

Maybe that’s why now I reach for his audacity to be great

To reach inside and reveal this part of me

I let my heart stand tall

And I think I am ready to risk it all…

Partly because I fell in love with his audacity and his words

The him being Rafael Casal

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February 6, 2014 · 12:32 am


the wrath of God they call out loud.. leading flocks by fear

Hasn’t it become apparently clear

that the wrath of which the bible speaks

Is the wrath given by you and me

the wrath of the world

The wrath of the rich on the poor

the gift of inadequacy…

the wrath of friend to friend

when loyalty falls short of forever, and the end is sooner than the “When”

we accepted…

The wrath of God is showb in how we made of his image

result in the scrimmage emotional distress of lving

Born into Original Sin, and the acts that keep us living in that good  old sinning that we love so muich

we forget to touch  our hearts to spirit

Can you hear it…

the real wrath of God is love

A love more perfect tthan we will ever be capable of…

Constantly falling short.

Making the mistreatment of our fellow man soime sick spectator sport

Physical, mental, and emotional crimes committed browned flesh, and hopeful ideals

The use of currency to create the urgency of competitive greed

while other sit and yearn for things they need to survive

Food, belief, relief

To feel complete

All vital to the beating of a heart

the value of life

how we smile when we arrive….

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