Category Archives: impression

The Reality Tv Viewer Review

It’s Saturday and I have decided to weigh in on reality tv.. depending on how this is taken I may do it again. Because like a good size of the population I find myself watching quite a bit of reality tv, which has made me junkie…. Now I have a brain tumor and I spend alot of time at home because my brain tumor effects my movement and lower extremities and now that my radiation therapy is over and my chemo is more in the for front I am more tired and at home fairly more I have been watching a lot more reality tv because mainly its all that is on. There is so much.. Between Bravo, VH1, E and OXYgen.. you are bombarded with it. My favorite really is investigation ID.. I am an ID addict but I have begun to see the same stories on several different shows so I have branched out. Now the Bad Girls Club which has always been a guilty pleasure and the one I am most ashamed of is my favorite but also the one I have least to say something about. It’s a hot mess… They are a hot mess… fighting over lashes and throwing water and drinks in everyone’s face is just immature and an example of how you are not suppose to be acting… However the person who is my favorite I suppose everyone would look down upon… It’s Jada and Camilla.. which in the last episode got into which I didn’t think was neccessary. Judi needed to go home cuz the voodoo is deep  in her bones and they needed the skelton key to lock her crazy away. Jada to me is real.. she is honest, she says how she feels… That’s more than I can say for alot of other people that grace the tv screen in general.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Now if my husaband was going to jail.. I would be at his side regardless of what he did because I married him. Now while the business is not mine… I know that I am not involved but your man gets 8 years wrong or not… don’t you want him to spend some time with his kids. I understand where you coming from Phadera girl you may be angry, it may be quite aggravating to know that for the next eight years your going to be raising you boys alone… but i hope your going to be taking your children to see there father… Black men already have enough to deal with. Now I understand being a strong black woman.. But dang woman… no  one can get through this life alone…

Kendra On Top

I was most proud of Kendra this week.. I am so happy her and her dad where able to have the visit they did… It’d hard to face the past especially where our parents are concerned. They can be the hardest obstacles to get past. I know my mother drives me insane.. and with the upcoming week Kendra is going to have from the previews I know she would understand… and isn’t this why we watch to connect to know that even the privileged have these same things we do.. However I think she can cut Hank a bit of break.. it’s obvious he loves his wife and just wants to come home. But Hank can’t leave her out there, tell her what happened.. and clear your name… we don’t want you chasing after transvesty booty.. I mean if that’s your thing then by all means go ahead and do so… but I really don’t think it is….

Love and Hip Hop Hollywood

Oh my… it’s Saturday and I deleted the episode from the DVR but ummm Beautiful Omari and Apryl COngrats on the baby… but mom’s is out of pocket… and while my opinion is just that…… Apryl has been really open and honest about wanting you involved but you come back acting like the girl is trying to say she don’t want you around,… Your son has a new family… and the truth is that’s now his first priortiy…. Feels like mom’s is hating to me… and being jealous of your grandchild’s mom is not at all the cuteness.

Fizz my handsome and loving friend… your girl is not what’s up and your baby moms is my new hero I am glad somebody slapped that girl… she don’t want you… it’s obvious in her actions… she wouldn’t be good as anyone’s baby sitter let alone step mother… So yay Moyneice for slapping her ass. See when someone loves you…. they do shit like that for your… cuz you chasing her and she ain’t chasing you

My last thought on this… Hazel… Girl while I understand men lie and will chase down some draws.. that man does not want you… he clearly wants everyone but you.

Masika was doing it in her Ace of Diamonds shoot Nikki your hating and um Young Berg… that must be good cuz everybody is riding it…..

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The Spirits in a Bottle

Alcohol, liquor, spirits, drinking is a truth serum. Suddenly things your mind wouldn’t so free release bubbles at the tips of tongue. Liquid courage I have heard it called it called. The emotions kept at bay stifled behind pain, hidden with words unspoken.
As the sips become gulps all burning away that wall to emotions laced in resentment I watch you become another person. It hurts to know what I already did. I close my eyes and I seek God to protect me from the attacks of days gone, of mistakes once again you revisit. My tears become the forgiveness I fight daily to maintain but it hurts… it buries what I want to build. Want to snatch the drink from your hands, want to take your words… dilute them with love blend them with sweet coffee beans add sugar… have them settle into your belly warm you so you can really digest a truth of the present and I have done many things, yet at this point change became my intoxicant, my drink. My hit.
I had to and n i w here I am another day… another drunk tirade of faithless abandon and words that scare me to my core. The truth is cold pushing me to the land of the lepers. A sickness has become the door that opens to find myself the victim of your selflessness. The more glasses you feel the more you vomit these moments that have caused me these crippling experiences…. bring me back to days… I work daily to never repeat. Change is hard. I want to wrap my arms around myself. But I won’t, instead I say in the tone I can best muster, edge it’s ring. Don’t talk to me like that. I don’t deserve that… then a bomb hits my ocean. An massive waves draws sobs from the part f me only God can touch and I met honesty pour from my list. Its not for me… I have o worry. I’m scared but God has me… you, have said,,, it’s all because your  sick that changes me helping. That buries me….. I feel the sand block as airways. No way to UN hear a love un requited. A mothers love, the live that shaped me.. tears pour over cheeks and acceptance settles behind now dim eyes. From here where do I go

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July 20, 2014 · 11:08 am

Always With Me

I carry you in a place inside that keeps the monumental power of what your love taught me. A woman without a father needs the love you gave me. The kind of love that reached the places an absentee father needs a woman to have to learn her worth and beauty.  As I feel a new love touch my heart I remember the lessons learned in our journey. The promise of his arrival in your admission to my world is beyond the thanks and appreciation I can ever give to you. I knew in our first meeting I would be forever changed yet to know the true embrace of a love unconditionally given is worth more than all the riches I could obtain in this life. Out beyond a moon I can see… I know you live beneath its light. Without those days… the moments, those words I would not be a woman who knows what she deserves. To say I love you would be less than a million things I truly feel. No poetic prose could manifest the truth in the blessing bestowed in having experienced even the pain evoked by what we shared. You have become the beat of my heart, the strength in my character. No longer in love I finally can see the gifts you gave in leaving me without you in my daily life.  You gave me freedom to be who you saw in me. When the first intense sensation of emotion welled up in my chest grasping my release of our memory…visions overtook me. I saw your approval in the man that so deeply touched me with his admiration of who I had become…. I cried for you. Although we are millions of moments from our last touch, kiss you are there in my actions, in my words. We were the definition of souls intertwined. Our affinity was not about an earthly love. Our love gave me life and now I’m ready for a love that will allow me to live. I will never forget the reflection of me that came to life in the hollows of your brown eyes. I pray your heart hears my gratitude in loving me in all my flaws.

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Filed under a rant of love, change, desire, destiny, Emotion, gratitude, impression, influences, Inspiration

willing to be………

willing to be the rarity in the mist

a uniformed society is never a battle uncomplicated

Never easy to explain,

why because a rarity is cost and the  reason for home land security

riddled undocumented truths that don’t hide behind black out inked

I am rarely the rarity that will appear on the mainstream news

locked behind journalist divulging the skills of in battle synpers

female ingenuity  battling for the likeness of unity

Yes likeness because whiteness is lost in blackness and blackness is seen as unpure

unsure of what I mean look beyond what is shown to what is unseen

locked in the foreground of words meant to confuse

with the confusion you will upgrade to the next version which is suppose to be the stupid down verision of the same which is something to which we know the name

propaganda the definition in two lessons never complete the reason for doubt in the claim

one sided information that is proposed or posed as truth

fed to the youth in the simlac that seperates mother from child,

brain devolopment remain unstatistized or verbalized less

Willing to be the pioneer, the  renegade, the bitch by name at least in the accordance to the media

The evangelist fanatical truth slayers, bomb layers, fear traders,

trading faith for fear,

selling you use of dreams to rip humanity from the seems of outsourced makers, even the sweet cakes have become homegrown outsourced bakers

Willing to be political for the point of history at which we stand when really life isn’t about this land

power or a the fight for resources of resource to one instead of another

resourcefully using resource is the source of creation

built nations and families for man (all) only different on the surfaces bearing resemblance of his climate not his intent, we were intimate before we were so different

Now that  conviction sick left to the old dying, watching bold be replaced with cold

where is our resilence to conformity

yet bleeding lips of judgement loud and dynamnic in naming the abnormalities

when it states it’s true desire within its components a, b, normal I ties

did you see that  the (A)and the (B) normally is how I ties to it’s community

it’s not normal for us to concieve of negativity yet it’s bred in our learning

taught with knowing, the ability to ignite old embers of hate

to give breath to past, history

sold version of his story

free gift of manipulation

I am no more worthy of this than you

to be the subjection of mental invasion

Someone has to go first

no stay you fathers, true dads cradling your childrens head

stay you mothers keep quietly you fight

for I am

willing to be the enigma, the insane uncooperative “problem child” who speaks to loud

stands out for love

will not allow you to believe I can be sold,

will not fold

will be the sacrifice

will allow myself to carry the load of revealing my soul

left out to be a documented amusement

ridiculed

fueled to hate

it’s not to much for me to consume

that pain you leave on the dessert tray

my plate has no weight

Without your pain that needs to be slain and released from your shoulders

Prior loud uncooperative’s, were the weapons used

so you could openly choose option abused

the hate they sell in those dreams that look like faith

using fear to get you to load  your plate with empty calories

no integrity to use for defense

no nutrients of living

no ripe natural sweetness to stain your lips with memories of positivity

selling you a dream you gladly buy

signed on the line to the creditor of living in the life by way of speech not heard on your lips

Found carried by women heavy memories of human beginnings on full hips

in between poisioned sips of as seen per the speculated

It’s bitter taste of previously remastered leaves me hungry

I am willing to be the rarity

go unfed until here authenticated is labeled

so you may close your eyes to the sounds of  ambiguity,

you now sold and selling the same untruth

You might do the crime

but I am willing to be the imprisoned, the persecuted,

electrocuted happy for  reviving pain

willing to be in the eyes of normal weird a living a and b tieing it self to normality

I took the bid so you could leave uncertainity, worries

I will do the time

be it’s bomb strapped to it’s core

i am willing to denate the ability to be heard,

the bomb of recognition, the human matyr of submission

willing to be rare,

willing to be fair,

willing to care,

willing to forfeit popularity

for truth, love, and sincerity

so you don’t have to

what are you willing to do..

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July 4, 2012 · 1:29 am

The Want is JUST the Start

It’s been a while since I have given a glimpse to me and my world of defining the duality. I have abandoned the drive of love of life for the love of a man and as if the light extended beyond reason…. I decided to abandon love for a man for the love of me and the feeling complete understanding seemed to settle over me and now I smile from within. This is a true testimony to love in the rarest of forms. I as I stated in my profile am a creative soul who has over estimated the true worth of my love for the common goal of an artist. To evoke and touch the spirit of the heart and the means of positive to people. I have been on a long journey of finding the truth of life and I know a lot of people say that’s no job. Yet really if you look closer at your television, listen intently to the lyrics of your favorite song, you will find that it is the purpose of a lot of the creative souls out there. I believe that if you to are an artist that you understand the journey in which I speak. It takes a different kind of person to be loud in the ways of quiet. Unique in the arms of conformity and clever with wit in the mind of the mundane. You would believe that no one person has the right to speak up and out loud and without the acceptance of the mass thought.  It is not easy embracing your wrongs and idolizing your rights. It’s even harder to live with the scrutiny of the world’s eyes. Yet there are so many that do it. In the quiet of their privacy, they may cry and feel the shocks of insecurity hoping that your view of them is the positive kind. Well I have been in that dim unlit room of uncertainty and will live their the majority of my life on earth. Yet the beaming sound of today I tried will viel many days and cross the threshold of radical rebellious soldier for the life of change and different. I want to talk about self branding and love of the common man and the journey of the ordinary leper. I want to hear about the you in the world that people are so quick to hide to avoid the vulnerability of truth and acceptance. The want is just the start. If we want to be more than we are, then who is to say that you can;t be that more, that better that success of your day dreams and waking fantasies. I can be mine and I will be, who wants to be on the road to better, to take a closer glimpse at the impossible. Separate you fro defeat and you get the same letters, the same order… you just stand between the two and be the star and fan of the combination of your self. embrace your power to believe first in yourself. Right after God, you are the only sure thing in this world for you. I am learning that with an open heart. Embrace love…. detest negative and I can’t.

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Filed under change, impression, life, opportunity, preception, self love, you