Monthly Archives: September 2011

We are an Un-Titled Story

Something at the first meeting changed me, even from the beginning it seemed as though I was different. I was a different version of who I had always been. Yet as I began to settle into the seat opposite you, I realized for the first time I was being me, in complete honesty. I was learning myself at the bridge of your words and as we crossed that bridge into common understanding, I realized the language that I spoke which before seem so foreign to people was not foreign to you. You seemed to understand the beat of my rhythm and able to join my song, as if we composed the lyrical melodies at the same piano, with the same guitar and the bass was exact; one sound. One movement, as you began to move, I began to complete my own.

Our God arranged meeting was nothing of love stories and the story we would together develop, live and breathe would be nothing of fairy tales. we would not make kisses of legendary energy. We would be THE lesson of faith and spiritual connection. The fascination of loyalty, the gamble of life and we would be the title to an untitled story. They could not title that which was unwritten. We are the story of love, the true depiction of souls intertwined through lifetime after lifetime. Love lines of intricate design. I didn’t live until we inhaled and together we began to breathe.

They call what we have begun the journey of the soul mates. I thought as a child that things were suppose to be of the magnificent kind. Always knew I was the exception. Always knew the life in which I belonged had not yet been discovered as I sat on the edge of reason in the wake of our latest crisis I began to doubt what God had already told me and I had begun to listen to the whispers of the devil on the outside looking in. And then my heart began to beat at rapid speeds as the fight in me kicked in, and I decided to not let the devil win. The goal of the devil was to divide and conquer what God has brought together knowing that we together can give and live love with great dividends, so instead of losing ourselves to constant battles we always find a way to make amends and continue to learn, grow, evolve, strive and we are so close to that golden word… we will soon thrive.

Love stories are always so whimsical so much romance of the glittering nature, but love is something that i didn’t understand, something that I could not embrace and the God in me was always a waste, as i did my best to leave him yet my walk was destined. As it seems so was yours. As our words began to touch the paths we had followed began to intersect it seemed we lived the same thing yet in the way of the masculine and feminine but our hearts seemed to speak in authority and then you seemed to be the kind of man that attracted me and even when you told me of you, I knew…t hat I might the kind of girl that could make you to do the things that a man will do. In the world we must connect at the worldly level and GOD was keen when he matched us in this pair and just like a miracle you were there and the rose, the blooming of a flower had began. Then the coincidence of our indulgence was at the helm of the place that we actually met and the roads we were both on. God plays not games when it comes to success and the things we would do would need the most concrete of foundations. I was not prepared for the beauty within me and you not prepared for the excellence in you, yet in the same place, we had completed a race that had not even begun. As I spoke you listened… each word a catalyst. As you spoke I listened, each word a catalyst. The broken souls finally heard, feeling whole, yet still peasants of the world, still vulnerable to the past, the memories that were created and the pain that lingered at the edges of hearts, a negative that was fighting to last. Yet as we merged God seem to emerge with greater force and without truly acknowledging the source…… The connection began to evolve and without reservation, we began to apply hesitation to what we had already come to know. That this thing was rare and it wasn’t fair that we had not met at the time most beneficial. we began to question the truth of the feelings felt, and the characteristics that were labeled flaw. We hadn’t accepted that, just as we had our individual journeys surpassed the definitions of the words defined by the common dictionary,the lands law… so had our interaction, if we subtracted the fear and added more faith, we wouldn’t need to be apart of the majority, but have pride in the fact that the elite are designated, anticipated and the time delegated by the God that lived within  our hearts. The coincidence of our past, were meant to acknowledge the link, if we didn’t take so much time to think, to understand, to demand the clarity of his plan then we would not be enrolled in this course. The unique design of how we relate, was completed when we chose to consummate. It was not the time,I would not be able to call you mine. Yet in the way of his love, he gave you hindsight, and me foresight. Gave you strength and gave me courage. He gave you the thought and me the words. He gave you experience, and me innocence. At our greeting, it was evident the duality that I was born into, was the duality that you lived. The affinity of connection was cataclysmic, dynamic. My words began to flow in prose, and yours at the edge of your lips, were meant as day two you gave me the confirmation that a man could be all that I believed. Born into pain, meant to shine in the rain, so that we could fight for those who had not the strength. They say when the right one appears, it will be enough to battle all your fears. That the years apart seem to disappear and that the entire time they were never far always near. And it is clear that the idea of soulmates does exist… I would not have stayed for the obstacles that have appeared if God had not spoken to me, he says your heart is more free, listen to me, this road will not be easy. I must build a team, and i must build it in the trenches of war. I must test your faith of this, if you shall ever have bliss, for the job is not an easy one. The things I give on this earth had not been appreciated. The love I feel for my children not reciprocated. Yet you two have lived in my love in the ways of risk. You have left the comforts of your teachings and set out for on job training and both have given to others the love that I have provided. Freely, and never begrudging those who hurt you, yet preserving. I built you for this. And the gift of love will be complete. Your hearts connection will not know defeat. If you listen to me. And as the friendship grew, the more I knew that this was not a dream, as my faith began to grow more and more each day. They call it a soul mate, if the affinity to one another is right. Affinity can be defined as the similar path of celestial connectivity, the four callings of the earth. The water, the fire, the air, the sea. For our humanity it’s… described as the four pillars of human compatibility. the connection of individuality is mixed and intertwined. We will bond…. emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. They say a soulmate is just a legend. Well i suppose that we are legendary. The gift of our a daily miracle as we come together I have given it all to faith, every single day. We have not said I do, we have not committed to love, we have not said the words. Yet in each other eyes, we never are surprised to find the person it seems that is always there. This field of jumps and lunges is not yet finished, and every day the fear seems to diminish.  We still have several test, before we will be exalted, and blessed.

We are the an Un-titled Story…  later to be labeled the true story of real life SOULMATES

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The Insight of The Light, He works

The light of God is beyond the strength of the devil. The amount of faith that you give to God is up to you. He will in the weakest moments deliver you from the most destructive paths. Last night I started to write for I felt the devil trying to use friends to weaken my resolve of what I believe. Being free in his vision allows you the ability to live and breath without worry. When the devil surfaces, finding refuge on the sand of the mind and seeks to illiuminate the negative you must pray. If you do not and your resolve continues to detoriate then you have become a tool for sadness and deprived behaviors and that can be the beating of your spirit which will affect your mind and body as well. I am not preaching the word of God, for my knowledge of the text is weak at best. What I draw from is my heart. God is love and he made “ME” in his image so therefore I was born with his understanding and my intutuion will allow glimpses of example for the right and the wrong that I am faced with. So many times we leave God in the nature of surroundings. The bible which I see as our basic instructions before leaving our human experience here on earth should be the moments of clarity, the validation of his existence and the depth of lessons that are applied to us daily. One of the things that Got me writing this a friend I follow on twitter as well as my own breathing experience. The choice of a mate, their beliefs in God and the plans for you as a couple. A couple years ago I met a man who at first glance was not a man that I was interested in dating, barely to be a friend yet that place inside me that causes me to pause and evaluate what would Jesus do, the light that shows me small glimpses of future moments to save me that day. Well from that same place a voice said.. This is your husband and I thought to myself, no it is not. He is still not my husband however he is my friend and as our friendship has grown, I am starting to see the understanding behind that glimpse. We have very connected emotional and spiritual understanding and the intellect is beyond yoked. Now I see us struggling in life to evaluate our place and more and more I see how that vision may be a reality. At times our friendship is trying and leaves me in breathless fits of angry yet God always brings us to a place to communicate and overcome the devils persistence. See the devil seeks to divide and conquer and the relationships we share with the oppossite sex when entertained in the right manner, are the beginning of love and God himself and the power of family. The interconnrction of family and God is so powerful for that family allows another one of his souls, his children and his angels to come to this experience on earth which is the journey of understanding his love and the gratitude for having eternal life with him.. Every couple has a job. Just as each individual.. The wrong relationship for us can strain our faith. Can it not? Do we not feel low and unloved and sometimes even question God. Why God did you allow me to feel this pain? Isn’t it funny how love can physically pain us and elate us and how every successful. Union will say in some way… “It was if something divine had happen, the coincidence the exceptional factor” It is because life alone is hard enough but that feeling of beauty and grace is the work of miracles in your everyday life. God is something, someone whom we can’t wrap in our arms, hold with our hands, yet he is there, he is our movement. Just as the demonstration of love. So why don’t we wait for that moment of WOW . Let’s wait on it and see the blessings. The man, the woman meant for each of us, is a person that will seem to complete our understanding, strengthen our character, challenge our beliefs and soothe our souls. We have flaws and even those will seem similar. Having the match or partner that is riding and dieing with us will never allow us to do it alone. Men and women have different roles to the same project. Men are weak will women are strong and vice versa. Let me tell you, the road with that person will be something like a beautiful diaster for once the union is consummated and made official it will need that foundation of rock and not sand. It will need the tools to survive and thrive in this life. The devil seeks to divide the divinity of love more than anything. Because there is safety in numbers and his way of spreading depression and dissatisfaction quickly. We are results of evolution and the old and practiced way of living with God has had to be amended in relationships. We have begun to copulate before marriage. We have had children from lust instead of love. We have begun to marry for stabilty and convenience rather than the overwhelming feeling of togetherness. Each step if you reach into your heart and accept is very much logically and emotionally right. Sex before marriage causes an emotion that can be so powerful you lose sight and believe me God knew the route we would go for each era has done the same. This body we are dwelling in during this experience, this brain that comes with the package is all apart of the armory that can be used by the devil for this is his camp, his home advantage. We have come down from the heavens, away from God, to understand why we should appreciate not living with the devils fate. Yet while we are here, it’s anybodies game. A fight for the your soul. Do not allow contracts is desire to cost you the most beneficial gift. Your already ordained place in heaven. This is only temporary and if you listen, jhe is constantly with you, doing his best to get you to the end with grace. Some of us are the lesson, the rogue angels on earth who have already done this before or who were bred to be fighters, the generals and lieutenants. Some days I really feel as tho God gives us art, music, poetry even the making of movies to promote his messages through free thinkers. You would be surprised at the way God appears in the most surprising things. Let me tell you… God is so vicious in his delivery and love for you, he will not tire fighting for your soul. However the devil is a wicked and highlly capable adversary. For he is on time just like God. Waiting to use these earthly desires and temptations to have you stray and some days you will lose you way and that’s okay. These emotions we have are our strengths and weaknesses.  God said you wanted to understand why he was so hurt when adam amd eve went against his word because this life needs the balance and he tried to protect us yet faith and belief was in the core of the heart. For the ability to love and do good is innate yet still a choice. We are of the universe.. Majestic ad beautiful. When you get to that part. You want to question but God controls everything. And you are apart of God. So look deep and choose him.

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The Creative Souls

Deep in the valleys of many big cities there are these thriving houses of color, attitude, vivacious music and unique people. These people are a new form of hip and in every one of their person circles a max of dramatic flare, magnetic personality and probably a revolution of spiritual insight. These are the artists, the creative souls… they commune in theatres that decorate the downtown streets. They speak loudly at weekly open mics. Some are surfing the streets with boom boxes against their shoulders, while others are donning bags of shoes, costumes and a bigger dream. Studios, galleries, places with big mirrors and music stores are favorite hangouts for them. The artists of the world are the “out of box” thinkers who starve for more than just the basic necessities but the ability to touch the world with their creation. Artist have become my personal celebrities. In the home of Lost Angels…a star sighting is as common as picking up your favorite blend at your corner Starbucks…yet the sighting of a true artist is even more common yet their name is not known to you. Your lucky, for I have given you the identifiers. Stop and say hello…t he plight of GOD is settled in their hands as they bleed for the sacrifice of actually making it to the mass media. They want to touch you, share their experience and I bet they will be able to relate on some level. While some of us seem recluse, docking in the hours at our desk, isles, dance bars, instruments, computers… we still miss you, and want to help the world with our vision and our delivery.

The Creative Souls of our time, our different thriving cities, don’t live to make money count. They live to give beauty to the world on the level of creation. The  mind of a creative soul, sees things with a different eye, penetrating the outer, shallow shell of humanity and embracing the emotional turmoil, and elation. They strive to better days of strangers with an evokation of spirit and heart.   We being apart of this new world of social media, gps location ability and church on the tube have forgotten the sounds of drowning cries, and mourning. We have even become numb to happiness and surprise. Yet artists, creative souls are the surgeons of emotional welfare, with knives of courage, and a recovery of dreams we allow your notice of being apart of instead of isolated from. Say hello to your inner creativity and change your world as well.

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Inside the Light

How did I get to the moment when you were no longer just a part of the world that I was living in? The memory of our meeting, our talks, our walks in this experience of humanity so separate had somehow become so much intertwined. A friendship of constant understanding and individual similarity. Now it feels as though you are as essential as the oxygen needed to breath and live. I can’t live in this type of love, this love that comes with risks and faith. This love that seems to have grown under the wings of God and sings a melody that is beyond the instruments I have been trained to play. You have created a village of followers of my emotions inside of me, and I am beginning to reek of your words, your mission and your journey. I should feel as though i have no longer been myself yet I feel more like me that I ever had. I am being born again in the life of which you have envisioned me and it has begun to empower me and I want to run away from you because we are not in love, I am not yours, you have not become the man to the women I seem to be evolving into. The fears of my youth now comforts of home as I begin to adapt to a new life. The pregnant silences are full of promise and future movement and the miracle born to our conversations, dances of invitation, and faith have made me a proud mother of love. A mother who has labored in the disguise of happy when it was nothing more than incomplete desire that was so well hidden, even my reflection had not yet been introduced. Yet now I see her moving from shadows in plain sight. Now the dark is so illuminated with light and I don’t want to fight the urge to be near the chills that cover my skin when your words reinforce thoughts that have lived without a delivery for the entirety of my life. I was moving, an emotional zombie. Afraid of showing the passion that was so well tamed without the fuel to let it burn yet now I can no longer contain what is there, it has now sparked and is burning so bright. The internal light seems to lead me. God is breathing inside of me, a part of my daily steps. I love what is happening inside of me, it is giving me a glow that is recognized without notice, without a call, it is showing from a place that even I can’t reach. You sit close to me and stay there while I am not looking, while I am not holding on to you. I didn’t want to know the person that would ignite my flame, I didn’t want the introduction for now I can no longer deny. I can no longer excuse the boundary that was just a patch of my fear. Now I must have the courage to choose to have faith and believe in the documented path that has been paved with love and care. I can’t hide in my anger, for smiles continue to permeate the air around me, pulling me from slumber each day that I give myself and I wanted to go back. Just hide from the fact that now the risks are so much greater. You are my heartbeat, my walk, the steps each coming quicker to find the treasure of serenity and peace that are all just the offspring of love. I just don’t know what to do now that I have made this turn. Pulled toward the pillar of my strength. I fall to my knees daily to God for the privilege of allowing our introduction.

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Hold Me Hostage

What in the world was I thinking? So many say I was lost in my own dream, a fantasy of my own understanding and I think they should just stop talking about what I was… not dreaming or thinking but feeling. I am tired of living in this world’s delivery of what ideas should be. The truth is ideas are unique. Just as each thought that we allow to enter our cortex and analogy. Yet alot of days we forget that feeling is only the first step. We feel it yet, do we accept that we were able to feel anything before it came, or is that something can not be defined and so immediately denied. I want to kick and yell, screaming for my individuality. Just because you can’t see the hue of your decisions left to the days consequences. What makes you believe that I can’t.

Yet it allows me to arrive again at my next thought. I am not ashamed of the consequences or even the lessons. what I am most ashamed of is that I kept not believing but receiving. For the belief was the relief. I had been rescued. The most desired pain of all is the pain of love that lives in the same joy of love as well. The vulnerability of emotionally romantic relationships is one of the most dangerous game that I have experienced. I am tired of running in circles and so now I begun to evaluate the activity…. I love unconditionally therefore your choices are your choices and I do not change based on the reciprocation of my actions in showing my love and not just saying it. The actions you take to show how you feel whether the love is the same or not is up to you. If I see that you are the most important of people in your world to the extinct of my pain, then what do I do? Where do I apply the difference in a way that leaves no unsatisfied emotions for myself.
I can not expect the same of those around me, however I have the power to hold myself hostage from any love crimes, where me as the victim finds no resolution in at least your words.

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Word Press Introduces Dualitydefined: ANya Monea

I am starting a new journey in my life and why not leave a documented account of my hijinks, spiritual endeverors, random emotional moments and beliefts here with WordPress where a new friend mentioned me in a blog, that began me on a journey.  I just had to start my next level of blogging here in the world of WORD PRESS…

TheWritingChic is an awesome writer and definitely the type of advocate that you want on your side. Her belief in my talent in just the few short days since she posted what I am going to share has changed me on a level that even she would be surprised with. So in my emotional jumper, I am jumping higher and landing in the most intricate of thoughts that are all positive and I thank her for bringing the child to my writing that I had lost do to the lost of motivation, self assurance and good fashion faith. She has inspired me to do more of what I do, and to work that much harder to make my place known as a cannon in the industry of words… So to her and my fellow Tweethearts…thank you for the support and the faith in me…

http://wp.me/pHGcM-lM

You can follow me @dualitydefined

 

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September 5, 2011 · 5:52 pm

Answering Questions

This morning while the rest of the world sleeps I find myself with my earphones covering my ears and music taking me down a montage of emotional experiences that shaped the last 24 to 48 hours of my life and I am checking my timeline on Twitter when I realize that my days of Facebook have become less and I look to my timeline for the confirmation that it is filled with the things that make my heart open, my eyes widened and I realize that for the first time in social media, I am not just joining the crowd but creating my own collection of things that inspire me, touch me, arouse me, attract me and actually define who I am as a person. My Facebook is still me of course but I don’t play games yet I allow app permission to favor the friends who are really people that I have crossed in my short life time and I realize that while that book that carries my face, it is my history, my love “the people” who have joined me and effected me and now a job does not have to be lost to lose the faces that shared lunch with me, or old classmates who also experienced learning and evolving with me. We may not trade phone calls or talk each day about the things that touch us but we can “like” an enlightened comment or experience with the news feed and that makes me see the good in all the ways to control us as people. I find that love is the fuel for all good, and with that understanding a rant of rejection has created a new portion of history and we say hey you know, I enjoyed this conversation, lets stay in touch as long as I don’t deactivate and you can add me to my friends list. For Facebook has brought back families old loves, lost classmates and then I look at the people who tell me there movements, thoughts and I realize it is my own personal yearbook. My own trip down memory lane. Pictures appear that I thought have died with the original camera and memories of high school become vivid as old friends reminisce on times that we knew we would never forget. Facebook helped to coordinate my ten year reunion. It makes me smile so I still go by and say hi, and sometimes I am able to make a note. A moment where I need to purge the congestion of thoughts that sometimes try to overwhelm me. Then I can like my likes and dislike my not so likes.
Yet the reason for this blog was about Twitter. Twitter was a long awaited add on for me, to many alerts on my blackberry and hey people where tweeting about their toothbrushes. Yet earlier this year I gave in and tried again and now I love my twitter, I follow people of whom I admire and I am able to laugh at the antics of old friends, and I get to share my movement. Twitter is my heart and soul. It is my poetry and I realize like Dawson’s Creek back in the tenth grade I have the second thing in my entire lifetime that I really do love. A guilty pleasure that somehow gets me through days. Rev Run always has words of wisdom. Fellow poets and great minds are right on point about aspects of life and then me. I fight the causes of my passions and without going to much into detail I can yell. YOUR WRONG… YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO I AM OR WHAT YOUR SAYING.  Just enough characters to get it done and if you know me, you know I am long winded. So I am able to teach myself how to get to the point.  And like most days that I find myself up with the rising of the sun, screen flashing before me, my book growing by day, my confidence increasing,,, I see a tweet from a new person I have chosen to follow.
So In Response:  ThatWritingChic 


I am inviting positive and adaptability into my brand. I am going to be a movement, an energy of thought and love. I wake each day with the same thought. How can I love today? Who can I entertain, share my time with that will teach me something new, something different, something insanely mentally invigorating. I live for the moments of understanding and debate. I invite the ability to be a an avid learner. Using each day to instead of allowing the feeling of inadequacy and sadness about what I do not know, and what pains from naivety to allow me to lose focus, I will see it as a gift to place under the tree of my lifelong experience. I will be a passionate soldier for the bringing together of Men and Women and helping them to embrace the love in their hearts for another, which will also advocate the building of more families and the miracle of love. I will not allow people to take away from my individuality my ruff and ragged edges. Even my flaws will be used to demonstrate what I have forgotten to accept or tackle for the fear of falling victim of it’s emotional toll. I will not change my behaviors do to the actions of others and I will also forgive. I invite the presentation of GOD in any manner in which I that day choose to present him, which will not only teach yet also learn. This will also result in me to making decisions that lessen the influence of my worldly surroundings and it’s understanding. I choose to close doors of the negative forces of the devil, making room solely for God, Love, Community and growth which will allow me to evolve. I will be a writer, a poet, a common comedian and a daily cheerleader. I will no longer run from the ability to feel the emotion of others instead using it to do as I was assigned to do in this life and I will never shut up. My words, my voice, my selection and delivery of content is apart of my unique gift and I belong to an army of rebellious hearts made of GOD, loyalty, trust, kindness, togetherness and perseverance that bind them together creating armies of spiritual soldiers.

One of things that really influences me is myself. Not the person who is reflected in the glass, but the me that lives inside of my outer shell. The woman who insists that I embrace my two totally conflicting thought processes. The little girl who was told that her beauty was nothing more the breast encased in a shirt. The daughter who lived with a woman with stern words brazen confidence and tales of survival. The first year student who was taken to the new world of an HBCU in a place she was foreign to yet never let her fear debilitate her. I influence me, for I am made in the image of GOD. GOD is love, a miracle in human form.
 
People who write influence me. From a little girl, clean paper was a place of illumination, imagination and invention. My mother tells me that when there was  a clean piece of paper before I knew the concept of formulating the written word, my pens, pencils, crayons would sweep across the sheet hoping to create a documentation of who it was to be me. People who write are artists of language and have the ability to see inside of the frame , the shell. They can see beyond the seen to feel the unseen. Creating the place, the time, the journey for the common person to experience it along with those who were their inside of the experience itself. They can teach lessons with film, and be the therapy to hearts in songs. They can be the political activist in poems or they can be the members of God’s clergy with spiritual enlightenment.
A friend in my life I met a couple of years ago influences me…. It’s very seldom in this life that a person comes along to us individually that seems to speak the same language as we do. Yet they are the version of life that we did not know, experiencing different avenues and streets, exploring different homes but arriving at the same destination to the point of being your compatible opposite. He is the brilliance in my words, and his vision of me, is one of growth and a continued quest to be the best version of myself and that influences me to strive in my pursuit of my own happiness, completing goals, and living the dreams of my heart.
God influences me, for his vicious, ferocious and ever accepting love for us as people encourages me to be the type of person who not only lives for my heart, belief, but to allow my soul to experience this experience among humanity as a lesson of gratitude. For it must be so hard to watch as your children praise the acquisition of financial prowess, vigilant mistreatment of people for reason of difference and misconception. God has given us an innate guide yet we not only falter in our faith for the higher deity regardless of the name, yet we falter in our faith in ourselves to be victorious in overcoming obstacle. 
Books are the cornerstone of my world. The binding, the setting, the characters who emerge from the impression of those who author them. I read everything. I continue to read for each book that I pick up seems to be chosen just for me and I learn something each time. From fiction, to self help, romance, Science fiction, Erotica, Fantasy. Art imitates life and I feel from the depths of my most core, that art of all kinds is how God shows us the true meaning of life.
I follow writers, I follow motivators of positive thinking. I follow the essence of femininity…which I define as the heart of the womb. Women love, for we were created to nurture and embrace difference and teach tolerance. So If it’s putting down quotes about relationships, love, friendship.
And I RT @thewritingchic, @damnlovetweets, @rafaelcasal, @damnyo, My friend Shayna… she is gritty, and loud. I love that. Of course… RevRun… almost daily and BishopTDJakes, I also RT myself, for sometimes I am quite clever.
My twitter is the true collaboration of who DualityDefined is.
   


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