Tag Archives: poetry

When the Tears Arrive

Bind my heart

release the pain

this is the rain

ive gained the belief if belief

no relief 

in these answers

yet knowing leaves a heart empowered

wont let this take it away

that faith that seperates me

from those that cower in the tumult of trouble

wont find me in the rumble

i know a God has me cradled in arms that defeat the largest of waves wishing to submerge me

im free from the negative

 

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Before We Touch

Insane understanding
Belligerent emotion
This notion
Of normality
Is not the current reality
I inhale your scent
Yet we haven’t met
The sensation of skin to skin
No sin in our hearts
A want to move beyond this part
The fear so evident
You are heaven sent
So unsure of previously laid plans
Since the arrival of your presence
Do I have the courage
This risk demands
Dream of holding hands
Of soaring beyond what’s real
You evoke more of my beauty
Push my thoughts to heal
Those wounds the fear of being great
Want to hate you for seeing beyond my mirage
Already it’s exactly what I can’t do
Goose pimples cover me
You ignite the woman
I want to be
A hidden sanctuary in arms
I have yet to feel
Want to wheel and deal
Contemplate the gamble
Go all in
Somehow, together I know we will win
The desires I have given away
Are back to play
Dressed like possibility
No negativity
It was long ago, in an out of rain
I left those dreams slain
Beneath the discouraging mistakes made
A price for pain I foolishly paid
Now you see me cloaked in flaws
Superficially yet ironically so pure.. You believe I can still soar
Tell me God calls
Time to risk the glares of a past
Its gone,
My last date with impossible
I can be the responsible girl, now womanly
Write my way to success
You say it’s a gift
Can be a blessing
Can fly in my creativity
Is this reality
This insanity
If  you touch all of me before we even meet
How will I be able to deny you
How will I run from this
Always wanted to be the differential geometry
In a world of basic mathematical ideals
Wanted to defy gravity
Float above the mean
The probability of winning
It Detest me
Want to be exceptional
Like what we share
Raw and inexplicable
Even before we touch

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Filed under a rant of love, Emotion, love, meaning, men, motivation

Between breaths

Between breaths these thoughts lead me to a future beyond these moments of rain
Fight through the torment of unforgiving stares
The glares of disbelief
This change ignited by a love pure
We without the intent of self
A past left to days now gone
That feeling of incomplete diminishing
Feel accompanied by your spirit
No longer alone
With you, I envision a home
Embracing you as you are
Just as you me
Engraved in heavenly discernment
Our hearts on a path
Lead by faith
Will leave behind fear
As you wipe away the single tear
Right now here in between each breath
Death seems worth these beautiful moments of living
What I’m giving is unadulterated, unedited displays of me
Looking toward a we

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Filed under a rant of love, Emotion, love, Positivity

Between breaths

Between breaths these thoughts lead me to a future beyond these moments of rain
Fight through the torment of unforgiving stares
The glares of disbelief
This change ignited by a love pure
We without the intent of self
A past left to days now gone
That feeling of incomplete diminishing
Feel accompanied by your spirit
No longer alone
With you, I envision a home
Embracing you as you are
Just as you me
Engraved in heavenly discernment
Our hearts on a path
Lead by faith
Will leave behind fear
As you wipe away the single tear
Right now here in between each breath
Death seems worth these beautiful moments of living
What I’m giving is unadulterated, unedited displays of me
Looking toward a we

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Filed under a rant of love, Emotion, love, Positivity

To-Get-Her: A Birthday Gift : My Big Sister Shawishi!!!!!

A poem written for my Sister Shawishi Haynes on her birthday 2-20-20114 (I never did forget I just wanted it to be my Shawishi Brand of Perfect. Accept this gift of my best part of me…. Much love and appreaciation.

You may not even remember the day you taught me a way to remember how to spell together….. Well  I do.. It is the single most influential three minutes  of my childhood.

My gift to you

what better than a piece of the best part of me….

With words I can exceed the mundane…

Words are my rain

They cleanse the mental debris moments

Left dark and turbulent

My air fresh promise ripe to inhale

I ingest each thought

Forgiveness, old pain …. each one, pleasant

Just lesson”s learned

those memories are sunshine and cloud-less skies

So here for you I will let my rain pour heavy and loud in your garden of our history

Bring you into the spring of a life, ripe and new

Days marked by the images grasped by my small and child like hands

Along the long corridors of mind where my childhood dwells I walk a mile

There in many different files resides reflective bound copies of your a smile

Your smile, unique,  piercing, extravagant

The perfect singular tribute to you

Your laugh, that laugh lingers,

draws words to it melody, magnetic, hypnotic

Can detect it’s vibration

It can be heard from distant vantage points

It’s a compass, my way to find you

it always finds you youthful,

In a library, college camps, colored paper, your study group

I sit aside my thoughts, “How pretty learning looks when it’s with you

I ask .. “Why is it purple? Your paper? When everyone else has paper white no colorful hue…

A smile appears… It’s for a class.. History Sec 102..

That is how I see that hazy day,.. learning so big and beautiful,

Colorful

You teach me things

I hear those words many times in my walk along our memories

We are in a backseat, the outside surroundings blurred

“I can’t remember” I say

‘Break it down” is your response

“To”I repeat “Get” You say “Her” We say TOGETHER

TO- GET- HER

Simply Beautiful

Every Day from then on, my brain would never let that one word

Scramble or get lost searching

It was filed in front

even today

As I spell together a smile emerges

on how you actually did “Get Me”

Faithful to your power

Loyal to your cacophony of praises

when others want to dismantle your song

All along

You so different from me

Hard to gauge emotionally

Resilient in YOUR ability to set goals and reach them

You, the epitome of what a BIG Sister  should BE

A model to emulate

A directive to refer to

The actuality of successful reality

Trembling fingers, a stomach of butterflies

I offer these broad shoulders

a place to rest your Burdens

It’s my speciality

My spiritual quest

The ability to hear the heart murmurs

Allow them the platform to scream, loud and free

without the pungent smell of perception, reception  interjection and objection

that rarely embrace or comfort

I offer my rain here, now to cleanse the walls  of your heart

erase the faded notes of thoughts unable to be relayed

Remove the residue that stains lips with words unspoken

Left abandoned to let  loved ones who have come

 vomit their words of pain

Leave the messes of their mistakes at your feet

I know many have left them there in need

I should know.. that’s how I have come to be here.

Now that I have arrived

ALLOW ME to show the tremendous power of extended hand to grasp in need

The power of a mother being what she didn’t quite receive

Allow me to show you, your beauty in the reflection of my rainbow

It shines upon you now as I have let this downpour  puddle

here in this heart emotionally able, without any murmurs

Monolithic is a bond between sisters, a club so exclusive

Reaches beyond memories, beyond experiences of now or tomorrow

So if the murmurs create any space in you hollow

I have the room for your downloads

You need to upload those thoughts losts,

Those words unspoken

or maybe somewhere between all you do,

needs left unmet

and being your little sister’s

Every day, extra-ordinary hero

Let’s GET (to-get-her)

share with you my ability to rain my words into the hearts

that touched me

Tell a world about how

in a backseat, a little girl

Unsure and unable to remember, came to be

A woman that gives the gift of words in a box wrapped with

Beginnings…

Happy Birthday dear sister

who didn’t know how together I realized a dream

Of breaking down words I could spell or remember to build them back up to bring us all together

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Filed under a rant of love, destiny, growth, life, love, The World

Rafael Casal

Rafael Casal… ( the crush I have on His words)

 

Fell in love with his words

His rhyme

Fell in love with the way his heart seemed to mimic mine

Like my men brown, decadent decent of Africa

With the touch of American Ghetto Swag, Sometime a soildier

But every single time evolutionary legendary brothern of thought

Will win the war to my heart

Until I heard his mind relayed in a poets language

Found out he was a bay area hip hop “Want to Fly” by the wings of Rap

Except his skin didn’t glow the brown I so love as though there are no other shades

The part of my belief that I couldn’t fall in love with personality fades

He is beautiful, open, splendor of words

The part of me that Is my greatest gift

But scares the shit out of everything that is up on that shelf marked worth reaching

Each time I heard something new from him

His beauty swelled inside of my thought

I ought to write him a letter off my admiration

The consideration of being just another fan

Made the option of can

A resident of probably not

It was something about him that I just needed to know

Somehow my being his fan has made me grow

Gave more of my thoughts power

He did it

Why can’t I?

Maybe that’s why now I reach for his audacity to be great

To reach inside and reveal this part of me

I let my heart stand tall

And I think I am ready to risk it all…

Partly because I fell in love with his audacity and his words

The him being Rafael Casal

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February 6, 2014 · 12:32 am

Change

To make change

You can’t just rearrange

documented fact

You must act

Take steps left un-taken in this journey already paved

Steady and slow

Don’t hurry, admission waived

starting again

Says you know where you begin

You must acknowledge what you know

Embrace accountability

Interpret old activity

Apply prerequisite lessons passed

Learned precedent of the past

Watch the signs that mark the moments of vitality

The choices, the surroundings, the actions

Change the retraction of previously printed life written moments

The consequence of then

Is the hidden gift of now

That how

The blueprint to the act

That will rewrite the fact

Those days gone, your back here at the same place

Staring in redemptions face

The gate-keeper to serenity

Map of forgiveness

Complete vulnerability

Humbled repentance

Sacrifice selfish choice

Hear the inner voice of change

Rearrange the old actions

Mold what is learned to what is

Given to rebuild

Honesty, character, and fortitude the gifts of sincerity in the acts of facing the wrongs of the past.

A foundation redefined by growth

Pledge the oath of trust

First to self

Can’t change fact,

Only the act in which you stand

Create new memories

As the journey nears its end , cross roads, signs, obstacles so much like before

Give more

Leave self in the grasp of those left infected

Reveal the scars of regret,  the desire to be forgiven

the cure to what is done is change

You can’t just rearrange

documented fact

You must act

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Filed under a rant of love, change, growth, life, Uncategorized