Category Archives: meaning

Writing The Good Fight

It’s late and I am in the mood to not sleep, the meds keep it hard to drift off into the late night and the hum of the book I am suppose to be writing highlights the thoughts in my head. Instead Rollbounce plays in the background and I find myself thinking how my thoughts are not the same as they use to be. It’s harder for me to complete thoughts. My clarity of thought is not the same. The tumor that has covered my brain has changed me and I keep thinking has it changed my writing for the better or the worse. I know it has changed the desire in me to write but it’s still their. I am reading more of other people’s work. I am more aggressive in my approach. Or better yet my attitutde is uglier or more aggressive but it takes me to a different place of thought.. the thought or kind of thought that makes me want to know more about progressing the writing further.. who is this writer becoming who will she be. The thing that has not changed is the wanting to write, the wanting to be heard. Now I am thinking of writing the good fight.  My auntie sent me a article about th way we need to recycle.. which we should already know but it seems we still don’t. so my idea today is we can at least give it to the homeless guy on the street who is trying to make his dollar ou fo fifteen cents.. that way the responsibility is not ours but we still get the job donewritesometi

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November 5, 2014 · 11:08 am

Before We Touch

Insane understanding
Belligerent emotion
This notion
Of normality
Is not the current reality
I inhale your scent
Yet we haven’t met
The sensation of skin to skin
No sin in our hearts
A want to move beyond this part
The fear so evident
You are heaven sent
So unsure of previously laid plans
Since the arrival of your presence
Do I have the courage
This risk demands
Dream of holding hands
Of soaring beyond what’s real
You evoke more of my beauty
Push my thoughts to heal
Those wounds the fear of being great
Want to hate you for seeing beyond my mirage
Already it’s exactly what I can’t do
Goose pimples cover me
You ignite the woman
I want to be
A hidden sanctuary in arms
I have yet to feel
Want to wheel and deal
Contemplate the gamble
Go all in
Somehow, together I know we will win
The desires I have given away
Are back to play
Dressed like possibility
No negativity
It was long ago, in an out of rain
I left those dreams slain
Beneath the discouraging mistakes made
A price for pain I foolishly paid
Now you see me cloaked in flaws
Superficially yet ironically so pure.. You believe I can still soar
Tell me God calls
Time to risk the glares of a past
Its gone,
My last date with impossible
I can be the responsible girl, now womanly
Write my way to success
You say it’s a gift
Can be a blessing
Can fly in my creativity
Is this reality
This insanity
If  you touch all of me before we even meet
How will I be able to deny you
How will I run from this
Always wanted to be the differential geometry
In a world of basic mathematical ideals
Wanted to defy gravity
Float above the mean
The probability of winning
It Detest me
Want to be exceptional
Like what we share
Raw and inexplicable
Even before we touch

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Filed under a rant of love, Emotion, love, meaning, men, motivation

We Made Our Last Memories

Last Night We created our last memories. The last time I would listen to your voice, say your name, feel your intense depth of understanding. While you spoke I saw the Love you are feeling, love for any other. Entitled to happiness, I must release you. I must free myself from the connection We share. Heard each Word , each detail of passionate pain they Have caused you. As you left My World, you have no idea that over the next several weeks I will purge myself on the intoxicating admiration that mesmerizes my truth. This love I feel knows that without this day it would not survive you. It will posion My belief, corrupt the reflection My eyes see. I know I Said I would never leave. I intended to live in this thing We do share. In an instant My truth became doubt. In your words, your revelation falling from lips that have rarely touched My own revealed that your Love rejects the explanation of Love I Have for you. You Said.she held you down, Stayed at your side When no allusions were displayed in your situation. Held you, kept you. You deny the power you give These things you deny you feel to your heart. Beaten, broken and scarred you nurse the wounds of her past. You claim her meaning to you. Freely you set me free.  My love was always here. Always loyal and true…. But never enough to be in your heart, the way they all Have auditioned to be.  The best friend you Have I now see… I am the place your soul and mind meet, yet you never allowed your heart to know me. Each breath taken to reveal the trails of your life, became the ammunition to free this heart enslaved. Love is still burning inside for you, but I dont Want to stay. I cant stay, must reduce the lifetime We invested in. Now Just a season. Will take all that has been given By God between us. Maybe our futures will intersect, better, and in Sync for whatever We could be. Its time I set you free, give My heart a.chance to be loved. I Want the best for you. From afar I will see it, . Wish I could be braver,less selfish.

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Filed under a rant of love, change, love, meaning, pain, personal understanding, relationships, self love, unrequited love, Written Emotion

Last Night We created our last memories. The last time I would listen to your voice, say your name, feel your intense depth of understanding. While you spoke I saw the Love you are feeling, love for any other. Entitled to happiness, I must release you. I must free myself from the connection We share. Heard each Word , each detail of passionate pain they Have caused you. As you left My World, you have no idea that over the next several weeks I will purge myself on the intoxicating admiration that mesmerizes my truth. This love I feel knows that without this day it would not survive you. It will posion My belief, corrupt the reflection My eyes see. I know I Said I would never leave. I intended to live in this thing We do share. In an instant My truth became doubt. In your words, your revelation falling from lips that have rarely touched My own revealed that your Love rejects the explanation of Love I Have for you. You Said.she held you down, Stayed at your side When no allusions were displayed in your situation. Held you, kept you. You deny the power you give These things you deny you feel to your heart. Beaten, broken and scarred you nurse the wounds of her past. You claim her meaning to you. Freely you set me free.  My love was always here. Always loyal and true…. But never enough to be in your heart, the way they all Have auditioned to be.  The best friend you Have I now see… I am the place your soul and mind meet, yet you never allowed your heart to know me. Each breath taken to reveal the trails of your life, became the ammunition to free this heart enslaved. Love is still burning inside for you, but I dont Want to stay. I cant stay, must reduce the lifetime We invested in. Now Just a season. Will take all that has been given By God between us. Maybe our futures will intersect, better, and in Sync for whatever We could be. Its time I set you free, give My heart a.chance to be loved. I Want the best for you. From afar I will see it, . Wish I could be braver,less selfish.

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Filed under a rant of love, change, love, meaning, pain, personal understanding, relationships, self love, unrequited love, Written Emotion

Today’s Love Quote – Love does not dominate; it cultivates. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ~

Today’s love quote was a brilliant touch of feeling for me and I had say a few words, I had to express my emotional link to it. Love does not dominate, it cultivates. In my mind that is the most evoking piece of life put into a short phrase of words. Love has shown to me that its the creation of art, the demand of excellence. How many things and understandings have been cultivated and born of love and the power that it has in people and the world. Did you know that love is the only thing in this human experience that will out live death. It is immortality, it is a breathing and living entity and it cultivates and sustains what we call life. 

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Filed under life, love, meaning