Category Archives: men

Before We Touch

Insane understanding
Belligerent emotion
This notion
Of normality
Is not the current reality
I inhale your scent
Yet we haven’t met
The sensation of skin to skin
No sin in our hearts
A want to move beyond this part
The fear so evident
You are heaven sent
So unsure of previously laid plans
Since the arrival of your presence
Do I have the courage
This risk demands
Dream of holding hands
Of soaring beyond what’s real
You evoke more of my beauty
Push my thoughts to heal
Those wounds the fear of being great
Want to hate you for seeing beyond my mirage
Already it’s exactly what I can’t do
Goose pimples cover me
You ignite the woman
I want to be
A hidden sanctuary in arms
I have yet to feel
Want to wheel and deal
Contemplate the gamble
Go all in
Somehow, together I know we will win
The desires I have given away
Are back to play
Dressed like possibility
No negativity
It was long ago, in an out of rain
I left those dreams slain
Beneath the discouraging mistakes made
A price for pain I foolishly paid
Now you see me cloaked in flaws
Superficially yet ironically so pure.. You believe I can still soar
Tell me God calls
Time to risk the glares of a past
Its gone,
My last date with impossible
I can be the responsible girl, now womanly
Write my way to success
You say it’s a gift
Can be a blessing
Can fly in my creativity
Is this reality
This insanity
If  you touch all of me before we even meet
How will I be able to deny you
How will I run from this
Always wanted to be the differential geometry
In a world of basic mathematical ideals
Wanted to defy gravity
Float above the mean
The probability of winning
It Detest me
Want to be exceptional
Like what we share
Raw and inexplicable
Even before we touch

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Filed under a rant of love, Emotion, love, meaning, men, motivation

Design of Desire

Many people think of love as this romantic notion of chemical reactions that you feel toward someone of the opposite sex or same sex if that’s your preference or experience. They never see it as this divine understanding, or this unlimited source of power and that’s what it is. A source of understanding and power. Or at least that’s the understanding that I have come to, even a source of power toward one’s self, the more you love yourself the more powerful and successful you seem to be in my opinion or my understanding. Example, the idea or nature of hubris is a self love that is so beyond the norm it’s gotten a wrap that states that its  more arrogance, more than selfishness but an elite being with yourself that you actually believe that you are above and beyond what society has settled as standard and normal.  


Entrance of the design of desire, the design of wanting the element of the physical manifestation of love. The intricate and dynamic design of wanting to feel this thing that we can’t touch or put a physical demand or ideology on that which we can not see, what we can not touch. It’s a hidden glimpse of this thing that we are suppose to give freely and touch never. I desire the touch of my “Urban Prophet” I desire the look of his eyes directly into my mine as he hovers over me, as I allow him entrance into the places that are reserved for someone special, someone as a woman I am taught to save for marriage. Yet many of us decide to allow love to flow from our intimate places at the first twinge of feeling in places that were marked benign as we are growing up and learning that women are vastly different from men in the ideology of feeling and the design of desire.


Yet how true is it, how different are we from men, is their design for desire so different from the fairer sex.  My “Urban Prophet” has taught me that men have the same intricate designs of desires that we do, the same want, the same need, yet the force of  their design is much different in the impact of it. As women when we are disappointed, we find ways to regroup, remold and redefine or redesign as we approach different chances for another hidden glimpse of love.  Where men are taught at a young age to not disclose or claim the element of the feelings that they feel, told to hide and keep closed the door of intimate understanding. Told not to cry, to not demonstrate the defenses that we are told to embrace and understand. Loving a man can sometimes be harder then loving our children, because as an adult that claims no design of desire, they leash and frame the intimate tags as a fire that is quenched when felt if not harbored and feed slowly and kept contained. Their design still so powerful and can be so brilliant in its deliverance, if taught properly, if embraced completely.
So tell me, how powerful is love, how grand the design of it that it causes people to change, in ways of positive and negative. Causes women to continue to propel forward when disappointed again and again, and causes men such pause they are forever affected. What is your design of desire?
Mine is in his voice, in his walk, in his over all demonstration. It’s in the truth he demands in me, in the love he secretes as we couple. It’s in the power and conviction of his relationships with others, in his eyes as he demands a deeper knowledge of me. The design of my desire is in the words he speaks and how well he arranges them…. it’s the hidden glimpse of what I want in myself that is manifested in his actions. 

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