Tag Archives: understanding

Always With Me

I carry you in a place inside that keeps the monumental power of what your love taught me. A woman without a father needs the love you gave me. The kind of love that reached the places an absentee father needs a woman to have to learn her worth and beauty.  As I feel a new love touch my heart I remember the lessons learned in our journey. The promise of his arrival in your admission to my world is beyond the thanks and appreciation I can ever give to you. I knew in our first meeting I would be forever changed yet to know the true embrace of a love unconditionally given is worth more than all the riches I could obtain in this life. Out beyond a moon I can see… I know you live beneath its light. Without those days… the moments, those words I would not be a woman who knows what she deserves. To say I love you would be less than a million things I truly feel. No poetic prose could manifest the truth in the blessing bestowed in having experienced even the pain evoked by what we shared. You have become the beat of my heart, the strength in my character. No longer in love I finally can see the gifts you gave in leaving me without you in my daily life.  You gave me freedom to be who you saw in me. When the first intense sensation of emotion welled up in my chest grasping my release of our memory…visions overtook me. I saw your approval in the man that so deeply touched me with his admiration of who I had become…. I cried for you. Although we are millions of moments from our last touch, kiss you are there in my actions, in my words. We were the definition of souls intertwined. Our affinity was not about an earthly love. Our love gave me life and now I’m ready for a love that will allow me to live. I will never forget the reflection of me that came to life in the hollows of your brown eyes. I pray your heart hears my gratitude in loving me in all my flaws.

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Filed under a rant of love, change, desire, destiny, Emotion, gratitude, impression, influences, Inspiration

Skips Beats and Taken Away

It’s been a while since we have spoken, a thousand tears have been shed. Sleepless nights in this empty bed. A soulful cry to God always asking why? Sometimes for the response to our meeting, others to your leaving, bust mostly for the love that seems to never die. All with the same ending… Why God Why? The answer always the same, Pray to me, in my name, I give love, how you choose to treat it. is your faith, and never a game.

I have headed tales told of love, envied their creation and in quiet hoped for my own emotional elation. Yet with heart beat skipped and each breath taken away, I seem to only hear your name. Inspired by you, in love with you, denied by you and left with the same question lingering on my soft supple parted lips. Why you?

I have decided to stop asking, decided to have faith. Decided to stop wishing for one, and live the day. My heart still skips beats at the mention of your name, and with the sound of your voice my breath still taken away. Here you have appeared again, and now I resume my love affair with my pen. In the absence of you within my thoughts, I must admit I was lost. I have mended wounds old and caked with blood, have bled from freshly made scars. Have lifted up my sagging heart and pulled together the loosely woven parts. Feel whole again without you near, no longer lonely for the need of you, just when I feel healed from the things long ago done, here again at my door arrives those eyes I never can forget.

I suppose it’s the way of the human experience to release what we can’t understand or control and then revisit it after altering moments of life and experience.  It’s best to just understand that you make my heart skip beats and you hold breaths in your heart that from me you have taken away.

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Filed under a rant of love

Being Worth It

I am worth the most beautiful places of pain, worth the most felt places of perfect.

 I am worth it, and being worth it  is more than just one day, one decision.

It’s a string of decisions, a dozen of days.

I am fighting my inner desires based on my vision of me.

I live for moments to be more than just a heartbeat, more than just the skin and the bones that I am.

 I wanting what is being told to be inevitable.

I am wanting to be greater than my mistake, greater than the idea that life is no longer beautiful on the days that it’s beauty escapes me with unkind words, and tarnished hellos.

 Selfish portfolios of devilish pictures where I is the only subject and the background the scope of the land of thought is how to be better than the next rising star, how to be more than what is behind the focused visual image.

I want to be love in it’s kindest and most magnanimous forms but does it exist.

Does it even begin to thrive in the truth of our community.

I want to be the heartbeat of the movement, of the greater good, of the common truth.

I want to be here in these moments with my pen and leave behind the mistakes of my past the days that make me want to forget.

Yet is no more easy to forget than it is to rebuild.

I am not alone and I alone can’t change the world.

I let this become just a rambling of endless thoughts don’t make sense to anyone but me and I hope it touches the heart of someone who can feel the vibration, the soul, the writing in the ears of the pages of books already great.

I wish it be inspired, for being worth it

is not just today,

not just one decision,

it is tomorrow,

and

each moment,

each minute,

each hour

I choose to be worth itI choose to be worth it.

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Filed under a rant of love, change, destiny, Emotion