When you Face It

I keep trying to grind a way to forgive the new things I hear of people using my truth against me. It hurts in a place that fuels an anger within me. A new tempest creating waves of distance between change and moving on. When life dhows you the storm you have choices.. Choices to choose tight over wrong. Yo choose better over the worse alternative. I want yo be the woman that I have worked so hard yo become. How do you accept the flaws of others when they exploit yours for the privilege of saying that they are better than you. I don’t seek to be better than others. I seek yo be better than what I myself was. I have made mistakes, I have fine the best yo be accountable for those mistakes and learn from those mistakes. When you put in the work I suppose you see things in a different way. I have had someone I love do there best to make me spear like a liar and a Perron who has been misleading and hurtful. A person who I have worked yo rebuild either and now this disfavor f them has made me question who they are. I know tht I can’t change them.. I know I can’t make them see how much they have hurt me. I feel out of control and I feel sad. In the current of the waves that continue to toll in from sea of emotion I don’t have the necessary tools needed to keep the tide from rolling in. I font have the fortune of being able to float into the darkness… I have no energy yo face the depths of their own feelings. Right now all I have is me and my own. I’m angry and I wan to not be. I want to yell stop, want to find my power in the night, to speak my truth yet in reality the truth is finite and obvious. And the only problem that really exist is that they are situation I need to extract myself from at this point but my desire to be loved and accepted by them is yo strong so I have allowed myself yo pulled into the wave of their need to be the part of the universe that matters. I love you but I love me more… So for now I must stay on my side… When I face it…. The only solution is yo just let it go… Georgie myself for being so effected shed my tears and leave it there… I did everything I said I fid.. If u font believe that then to bad but I Jo longer care what you think.. I don’t make you a sum of any of your mistakes and you can leave me in mine without your input… Let me go and live my life… Right now I choose me.. Tight now I choose the quiet of my own thoughts, the consequences of my choices and my circumstances. What I wasn’t is true serenity… I don’t need yo make a show of what and how I’m doing.. I’m doing the best I can.. I’m smiling… I’m working through it.. I holding on yo my strength. I’m praying.. I’m giving it to God… Just like I’m giving you yo God. Cancer, rumors, insurance, life , my desired, my needs, my mother, my family, my people, my heart, my ability yo keep going despite how I actually do it… Is what I can do right now… I keep my distance from your input now not because I don’t care or need it but because I need yo rely on who I smoke… Allowing to much access to me, leaves me in a state if vulnerability that has left me unable o access my greatest power.. My testimony and my experience… I choose to face the truth of who you really are with this.. To accept myself is to accept ell those I encounter…

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