His Words, His Eyes

I met a boy and he was kind to me, the real fabric of man. Tender and sincere in his words but I see the future it was going to be behind the loving words and sincere promises of try, But I couldn’t go there again, I want to tell him that I could have loved him but my heart is beyond the struggle my body lost to the ravage of the abuses of love that I thought could survive. I had to be selfish this time, had to leave what might be behind, The flags were loud and red, resounding and with God in it’s breath, it’s honesty, I have to go, The story I am writing is still unfinished a volume of pains that have lead me to indecision and fear. I want to pray to God, want him to ask me to take his hand and believe again.  That man made today easier to breath and for that I am grateful. I feel that hug that I some how know will be the last and I have to go, have to leave this place of limited serenity behind. Like magic the tears finally fall as I realize that God has his plans and if this wasn’t to be then it wasn’t to be, but I do get to go home, and if God gives me the site to see what I need to see then I will trust what is in front of me. My mind can’t stop racing and rest seems lost. I am not sure what is next but in his words, those kind eyes that I have looked into this short time with never even knowing his last name I believed that what I felt was no longer fear but knowing that there is more for me to do. I will face another world alone again but I won’t leave the last of my hope behind for him and that last kiss we shared.

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