To Relieve Perception: I am my Prescription

The life I have lived has not be any means been simple, uncomplicated or without the pain of heart breaks, lost friends, mistaken moments of choice or what I have found to be so dynamically important… the element of substantial honesty to one’s self.  Honesty which has been stated to be the best policy in this work that is living. Why? I have found the true reason is not because the policy of happiness is reliant upon speaking truth yet because having the policy of speaking of action in it’s true state, emotion in it’s true state is the way of walking the path in a matter that allows us the opportunity to not have to choose a crossroad of additional complication. Truth is a heavy word with light appliance in this world we live in. Yet the weaving of tales is something that stems from defense of pain. Defense of perception, judgement, a need for being wanted and loved. Yet when those tales become a tool of offense for perception, judgement, a need for being wanted and love it becomes a endless stream of running negative that will wash onto the shores of our own reflection. Yet we see the consequence of how a tale becomes a word of gritty disdain and the tale becomes a lie.  A lie is something that your first deny within yourself… you are calling objection to the court of you. Your moral dillema, your internal belief, your acceptance of self.

The Journey within is something I know is not unknown to the creative entity. We are always so intricately aware of how we feel and the the demise or surprise of the consequence. We are so aware of the element of feeling we can not run from it and when we try we must completely alter the state of mind and even then sometimes it is more blatant then the pupil of the eye. For the common sort, it can be willed, wished, or actively pushed away. Lost in angry slights of school shootings, murdered bodies pilling in lost ghettos of other homes of people whoto one day lose belief in hope. My point is clear and concise… to begin anything, to love anything, to believe in anything, you must first start with the person who must face you when you are nothing but their own company. That annoying entity that tags down roads you wish to erase with reminders that notify more often than twitter when it is ignored… the heart, the mind are the components that together make up the soul. The soul is given to the body. The body is a gift and should be nurtured, but to preach and reck the shop of person is not my intent…



I love myself and tell myself the truth to avoid another complicationof thought. Living is already a conjucted set of compromising and opposing options and ideals. If I allow myself to go off my meds of me, and loving me so much that I do not deny myself the choice of educated chooseability, then my reality becomes  a nightmare on foot to negativity and negativity will kill me with fear and fear will make me vulnerable to the dangers denial. And if I lie to me than I will lie to you and then who am I but a fake version of some person who I don’t really want to be because I choose to deny who I really am and ifd I wanted to be this other version of me wouldn’t I just be but secretly I am not proud of that person. It is why I only bring her out when the faces who surround me cause me to see a amended reflection of me. That is when I realized a while ago it was not me who wanted to start a trial of stories but I needed to start a trial of non offensive understandings… I wanted to not hurt, not be something and that something that led me to choosing to lie to the world but really I was lying to myself, rationalizing the option not facing something and some days I forget what it was, but it was painful, that much I know because just facing the answer to the simplest question caused a churn of longing to be able to just decide. Yet at some point I had stopped decidinhg and I was feeding myself chemicals of trying to be the person I admired in front of me. The people with the things I didn’t have …. and at that moment I realized something in side of me didn’t like something in me about me and when I got tired of just believing that it would all just change… the miracle of people who loved me even on days i didn’t know me began me thinking… I think the day I first began believing was a day that really made me think of someone else because a thought came to my mind and the thought took me to a thought from being  9 and I was afraid and more quickly then any other decision I asked a question and that question changed me… the change was slow and deliberate because I was learning from books or my family but from friends and incidenrs. Yet the miracle of love is gripping and life altering so just think how you can relieve the perception of the world when you love yourself enough to be your own prescription. No scar or flaw can diminish the true beauty of body for the the beauty is left to the perception of the holder of that thought. How is your personal perception…. When it is srtrong and with eyes sighted by faith you are not able to be moved and when your belief in the world is something that really impresses you….you fall in a love so deep that it literally will send you on a roundtrip to the place you buried and sometimes it gets you angry and sometime it makes you sad… but it wasn’t the tale that caused you the fear that mutated into the diease of perception and then the cancer of dislike and pain… it was the feeling that wounded you. A feeling that kept and ignored….can change you…

I was lucky…. I was a survivor, cured but I struggled and fell into remission more times than I admit willingly. Yet I sometimes believe that being a survivor is about thriving in the living that before you could not. I have faith today that God loves me… I love me, and in not loving myself before they way I should… I am now able to love other people in a way they’re made to feel stronger because loving someone is loving the flaws and all.



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One response to “To Relieve Perception: I am my Prescription

  1. Pingback: Believing, Feeling & Thoughts Create Reality: Will Smith seems to Agree. | CreateWhatYouWant

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